That Simple Magic
by Sunnydaze
Summary: Serena has a problem... and that seems to include waking up in her enemy's bed night after night, (Brief Interlude)
1. The Very Big Problem

****

Author's Note/ Warning: I would like to say that this story does contain some rather lewd implications but they aren't altogether too bad (or so I like to think). I had my younger sister read it and she said that it wasn't as bad as some movies so I leave my case to her. I just thought I would warn you, however, and add that though 'that simple magic' does have implications it's not going to advance to a lemon etc. So I'd say look elsewhere if you want something quite like that, ;-)

****

~*~

~*~ That Simple Magic ~*~

~*~

__

Chapter One: The Very Big Problem

I blinked drowsily, wondering how I managed to become so warm in my bed. I was in a nest of rumpled flannel sheets and thick comforters. Then I realized what was next to me.

It was a naked man.

"Oh shit, it happened again," I winced. How could this possibly keep occurring? I mean, what was wrong with us? I didn't even see the baka hardly ever. And then night after night, here I was. What was my problem? And this wasn't even my bed! How unfair can you get?

The object of my reflections groaned a little and rolled over. I'll be candid about this (and if you ever mention it to him, you've signed your death warrant and I can't be held responsible) but he was the single most gorgeous man I'd ever seen in my life. I'd seen quite a few. He was tall, certainly a lot taller than my own diminutive frame, with thick black hair and soulful blue eyes that were to die for. Then there were his muscles and honey colored skin. And his charisma! The list could go on and on but then again, I do NOT want to view him in those lights. 

Because then there was his personality towards me. One that I certainly did not appreciate. 

At this moment the handsome idiot opened his (soulful) cobalt eyes and looked at me blearily. He closed his eyes again and flopped towards the window. I waited and watched his back for the customary reaction. A few minutes past, and then the muscles on his back tensed. 

"You're not here, I'm just having a bad nightmare," he stated calmly, still facing the window. 

"Boy, do I wish you were right!" 

Okay, so anyone else would be perfectly happy to wake up in this man's bed- that is if they were completely without morals. Please note the 'anyone else'. 

"Well would you mind explaining how you got here _again,_" he demanded sitting up. I glared up at him- sheesh, he acted like it was MY fault. 

"Your guess is as good as mine," I snapped. "Besides, even if we don't remember I'm perfectly sure it was because of you." If all else fails: blame somebody else. 

"Me?" he choked. Personally, I don't know why he was so shocked because this was exactly what I'd said the last eight…no wait, nine times we'd been in this position. Of course the first time I'd yelled at him, screamed, cursed, before threatening to claw his eyes out if he ever came near me again. But I digress.

"Naturally," I folded my arms protectively over my chest. "We all know how I would never start something like this. I prefer my men to come to me. So therefore the only reasonable explanation is…" well, actually there WAS no reasonable explanation for this type of experience. Come on, how many arch nemesis' do you know that repeatedly sleep together and have memory loss about it? I would at least like to know if he was good- then I could tease him if he wasn't. Unfortunately I wasn't offered the possibility. 

"Your logic, or lack thereof, never ceases to amaze me, Meatball Head," he snorted before reaching for his robe. How come he always got the advantages too? It was always in HIS apartment too. He got HIS robe, HIS shower, HIS bed, HIS clothes and I got zip. Nada. Nothing. 

But my real problem was the fact that I didn't know how this kept happening. I was never one to take sex lightly. What if there had been a youma attack? Granted, there hadn't been one in the past six years (gosh, I missed that sexy Tuxedo) but there was always the possibility. Just what would I have been able to say if one of the girls paged me and I had to leave? He isn't that stupid, he would get suspicious. 

"This stinks," I grumbled as I watched the man leave the room. Soon came sounds from the kitchen vicinity of his penthouse and yummy smells drifted towards my nose. Hmmm, bacon. Possibly the best breakfast food ever invented. 

I clambered out of the too-comfy-for-its-own-good bed and began to rummage through the dressers. I wasn't about to walk around the place stark naked just to find clothes. The Jerk would just have to sacrifice some of his clothing. Unfortunately it was almost embarrassing at how long one of his white silk shirts went on me- it extended to a few inches above my knees! Wow! Imagine if I tried to put on one of his pants, now wouldn't that be funny! As it was, I was rolling up sleeves that were far too long. 

"I want breakfast," I announced as I entered the kitchen. He was flipping pancakes on the stove but the atmosphere was not what I'd call cheery. He definitely needed some warm slippers or something to lighten the mood. 

"Well then I guess you'd better hurry on home and get some for yourself," he said with a twisted grin. I glared at him. How rude! And I knew for a fact that I didn't have more than a half gallon of OJ in my fridge anyway. I rummaged through his cupboards to help myself before his sharp glare froze me. Now this guy could ice a youma in its tracks! I bet Ami and him get along well. 

"You're wearing my favorite shirt," he stated with what seemed like a pout forming on his lips. The thought made me giggle.

"So?"

"But you're going to contaminate it. I'll have to run it through at least three laundry cycles to get rid of the smell."

"I _don't _smell!" Maybe it's just that he'll be insulted by his co-workers if he shows up to work smelling like lavender. Yeah, that's it. He just doesn't want to be mistaken as anything but manly.

"Think again Meatball Head."

Gosh I hate Darien Shields. 

"You're late," Molly Fitzpatrick informed me as soon as I entered Silver Moonbeams Ink. She was my secretary and a third mom as far as I was concerned. I already had a real one, Luna just acted like one, and then there was her. She was a tall, slim red head with a busy schedule and four terrifyingly evil kids at home. What a shame that she adored them. 

"I think that as owner of this publishing corp. I'm allowed to be late and get away with it," I sniffed indignantly before taking a sip out of my coffee. Damn that Darien! I'd barely had time to get home and change to something half way decent let alone eat. Don't even get me STARTED on how I looked getting a taxi dressed in his shirt (I still hadn't found my clothes. That was the fifth outfit in as many days! I'm going to have to go shopping pretty soon.) I stole a pair of socks too but he deserved it. See if I wash HIS "favorite" shirt three times! 

I DON'T smell. 

"You are shirking your duties!" Molly admonished. I rolled my eyes while grabbing the days schedule and proceeded to tune her out. Only a mom would use that sort of phrase. This afternoon I had some boring interviews to go through with since Rae had resigned two months ago _just _because she was getting married. I mean, really! Speaking of Rae, I had to call her soon…. 

But anyway, this left me with one dastardly difficult sales position to fill. Were people not qualified anymore? Did colleges just hand out diplomas to any old person with a 'we're tired of you so go wreck havoc on the world'? Well it sure _seemed _like it. Especially with all the weirdoes applying for the position. Once upon a time, this company used to get some respect!

"A couple of your interviews have been bumped up because of that emergency meeting you wanted to schedule before the weekend," Molly continued, flipping pages over her clipboard as we walked towards my office. "The first one is at ten and then you have one at eleven also." 

"But that's my lunch break!" I cried. "You can't have anything there! I barely even had a breakfast!" I plopped into my nicely upholstered chair and frowned at my manicure. Automatically I reached for my crystal necklace- one of the moon crystals the girls and I had collected once upon a time. We all had one now, strung around out necks in safe keeping. I narrowed my eyes as my hands found nothing but air. Dang it! I must have forgotten it by the bathroom sink. It was because of that jerk, Darien, I knew it! If he hadn't have kicked me out instead of feeding me breakfast this never would have happened. Breakfast… food… that returned my mind to my vanished lunch hour. I opened my mouth to speak. 

"I know and there's a lunch in the refrigerator for you. Your mom dropped it off since you two won't be able to have lunch today," Molly said calmly. I smiled happily- I love my mom. 

I woke up leisurely the next morning, fanning out my arms and legs and wallowing in the familiar sheets. Then I sat bolt up right. My bed. My blankets. My apartment. 

"Yes yes yes yes yes!" I chanted, leaping up on my bed and doing a victory dance. "Go Serena, it's your birthday, it's your birthday!" Oh yeah! Hallelujah, I am SAVED! No more Shields, no more waking up in strange beds! I stared at myself in the mirror as I slowly and deliberately fixed the clasp of my necklace around my neck. Oh this day was going to be awesome, I could feel it. 

"Good morning Molly," I said cheerfully when I entered the office… on time at that! Molly look flustered as she hurried to get the papers in order. I whistled. I loved myself sometimes! 

"Good morning Serena," Molly answered. And the rest of the day went just like that. Well, I didn't say good morning to everyone all day but I'm sure you know what I mean. Everything was fine, everything was perfect, every once in a while I broke out and did a jig. This was a happy, happy day. Of course Shields just HAD to ruin it- he has such a sick, demented way of torturing me when I'm most happy. 

"Hello Meatball Head," he said, looking dashing in his Armani suit. He was standing outside our office building as I headed out at the end of the day. Nevertheless I remained undeterred in my joy. I even ventured so far as to compliment the jerk. Eerie…!

"Don't you look spiffy!" I giggled as I walked towards my car. My beautiful baby, a red convertible, was there waiting for me in the setting sun. "So nice to see you for the first time today."

"Why thanks, Meatballs." Evidently that meanie had had a good day too. Although he should have had an awful once since he couldn't begin it seeing me. "Long time no see."

"Yep!" We had successfully avoided fate, if fate was what you called ending up in his bed every morning. 

"Are you doing anything this evening?" Darien asked, taking my briefcase away from me. His hair ruffled in the wind and I couldn't help noticing how sexy he looked. Okay, gross! Scratch that comment. But still, walking next to the most wanted bachelor of the year was attracting some very jealous looks in the parking lot. I scowled, some of those glares looked positively hostile! "I was wondering if you wanted to go to a celebratory dinner at Ringo's with me."

I looked at him in amazement. For a minute, I could almost see what attracted all those women to him. Of course, the minute ended. 

"Sure as long as you pay." I was never one to give up free food and if I made my nemesis pay for the most expensive thing on the menu all the better! Rae would be so proud of me, her little prodigy. She has a thing about making males pay- mostly because she kind of has an inflated ego, although she'd KILL me if she heard me say that. 

On the way to the restaurant I spent the time properly admiring Darien's DEMON VEHICLE OF TRANSPORTATION. Not that it was really demonic or anything but by simply being owned by him automatically took it down a few notches. It was sleek, black, and sophisticated but I had no idea what kind of car it was. Probably expensive. Guys towards shoes and me towards cars was practically the same thing (except of course my baby the convertible). My shoes were 'black' after I had spent three hours searching for the perfect pair. His car was just plain old black to me too. However I did like fiddling with the temperature in the car. It was awesome! I could digitally put it up to 90 degrees! 

The car slowed as we reached the circular driveway at the restaurant. What I hadn't realized was that Ringo's was a premier restaurant and even though my clothing was tailored and pretty, it didn't compare at all to the elegance around me. All the ladies were gorgeous and almost every single one knew my damn meal ticket. After the tenth damsel came for a 'chat' and to show her bust, I was completely disgruntled. There weren't even breadsticks on the table either. Naturally Darien didn't look out of place with his _Armani _suit. But my cream colored linen just didn't cut it compared to these fine gowns. I reached for the wine with a grimace. I wouldn't put it past Darien to have planned this course in humiliation on purpose. 

"I didn't realize you would let yourself get completely sloshed," Darien grumbled as I held onto his hand for dear life and stumbled blindly. 

"I'm not drunk," I mumbled. "Only a little tipsy." Oh my gosh. I stared at Darien as we waited for the valet. His muscular body was a firm rock when I fell against him. While Darien rolled his eyes and stood me up again I smiled. Look at those pretty blue eyes. Why had I never realized what a hunk he was? Stupid, stupid me! I should have seduced him instead of yelled at him. 

Darien must have seen the way I was looking at him through my lashes. I have an unfortunate way of looking like a hunter when I spot a delicious man. Someone once told me I was a vulture before running. 

"Oh my god, no way is this happening to me," he muttered staring into the dark where the valet had disappeared. "Come on! What's taking so long!"

"Darien," I murmured softly. "Darien…."

Darien tapped his foot and looked at his watch. I pouted. He was ignoring me! "Finally!" he sighed, literally pushing me into the car right as it pulled up. 

"Ooo, I don't feel good," I moaned, gripping my stomach. My eyes must have become blurry- how else would you explain that my moon crystal necklace had begun to glow?

"My pent is just around the corner. Try to hold it….please." Darien looked green at the thought of vomit in his car. Hmph! Did he care what kind of pain I was in? My head was aching! I hoped viciously that I did throw up in his car but unfortunately, I wasn't thinking clearly enough to try to push my stomach further. 

"I want to go to sleep," I demanded standing in the middle of Darien's immaculate living room. I had just paid a nasty visit to his bathroom and now I wanted a bed. Wait a minute- I knew this place! I knew where the bed was! I made a beeline straight for his bedroom.

"Oh I don't think so ditz!" Darien choked, diving for my heels. "You're sleeping on the couch."

"But your bed's so nice," I whined. "And you have yummy pillows! All nice, and warm, and smooth…." After I would realize his 'pillows' were actually him- luckily Darien didn't seem to make the connection. 

"There is no way you are sleeping in my bed." Darien snarled grasping my wrist. He stopped and his eyes widened as he stared at my throat, or my crystal necklace to be more exact. In my eyes it was glowing and pulsing. I wasn't sure what he was seeing. AS soon as Darien's grip loosed on me, I leapt for the bed and burrowed deep within the covers. If he couldn't find me, he couldn't kick me out. 

"Oh no you don't," he snarled and he came in after me. 

"You should always give your bed to a lady," I retorted. Darien's mouthwatering face and tousled hair suddenly appeared before me. I reached out to touch his hand. 

All I saw was a warm glow. 

"Hmm," I sighed sleepily, snuggling further into the covers. My teddy bear growled and nestled his face into my neck. I giggled as he kissed it; it tickled! I turned my head and rubbed noses with him… giving my great big teddy bear Eskimo kisses, hee hee. My eyes opened and I blinked blearily. Cobalt blue eyes blinked back at me. 


	2. A Renegade Crystal

Oh my gosh, I was completely blown away by all those reviews! They were so beyond what I was expecting! I love you all! I'm so sorry I updated a little late, my original plan was to have this chapter up by last Friday- almost 2 weeks ago now- but I got sick and ended up with a lot of work that I had to rush to make up before Thanksgiving break (teachers! Words fail me…) BTW, I'm really sorry- this chapter was originally going to be longer but I wanted to get something out as soon as possible. 

Much love to everyone, me

@}----

****

Disclaimer: If Sailor Moon was mine, Tuxedo Mask and the Generals would ditch the girls and worship at my feet. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened yet. 

****

~*~

~*~ That Simple Magic ~*~

~*~

__

Chapter Two: A Renegade Crystal

"No, no, no, no, no!" I wailed as I banged my head against my pillows. Even in a distraught state I try to keep myself away from actual harm. I smashed my nose against my crystal necklace. "Ow!"

"This is definitely all your fault," Darien snapped, jumping out of the bed a la nude. I covered my eyes with my hands but covertly watched him through them anyway. He looked at me and snorted. 

"What? Are you crazy? This is _so_ not my fault! It's obvious what happened here, you took advantage of me in my drunken state!"

"_What_?" Darien looked like he was going to blow a gasket. "That's preposterous! I most certainly did not do such a thing!"

"Well how do you explain THIS then?" I demanded. And we'd been doing so well, I had spent a night away from his bed and everything. "And even if you didn't take advantage of me it's STILL your fault! You suggested the dinner!"

"You could have said no!" 

"What? And turn up the prospect of free food?" I asked, horrified. Darien sneered. 

"Of course. How could I have thought Meatball would have ever done something like that?" I sniffed, not quite liking what he was saying. I couldn't exactly argue since I had almost said the same thing. 

"No wait," Darien said, pacing the room. He was now clad in a pair of flannel pants that made me envious as I pulled the blankets up to my chin. "I remember something. Your necklace- it was glowing or something."

"My moon crystal?" I said, knitting my brows in confusion. Carefully, I unclasped it. It rested in my palm, a glittering mirror casting rainbows across the room while the gold chain pooled to the coverlet. I narrowed my eyes, thinking step by step over the past three weeks from the first time I had "slept" with Darien. I couldn't remember there being anything funny going on with the locket. But then again, the day before I hadn't worn it, having lost it by the shower. That was the day I woke up in my bed. There had to be some connection I was missing here. Suddenly I snapped the crystal into the air. It fell in an arc across the room, casting a thousand more rainbows, before shattering against the wall. I watched it silently. 

"Oh my god," Darien hissed. "_Did you just break a moon crystal_?"

"Oh my god!" I cried, drowning out his second questing which was 'what were you doing with a moon crystal'. "I JUST BROKE THE MOON CRYSTAL! What am I going to do? _Oh man_! I'm so dead! Luna's going to KILL me and then refry my ashes!"

"Your cat's going to kill you?" Darien asked raising his eyebrow and folding his arms. Oops. 

"What are you talking about? Why'd you let me throw it, you idiot? Why are you even talking to me? I have a hangover! What do I know? Aren't you supposed to protect me from myself?! I'm only twenty-four you nincompoop! I don't have any life experience!" I gasped as I ran to the end of my tirade, adding a few curses. My stomach rumbled and felt nauseous. 

"Uh oh," I muttered, holding my stomach again. Darien stared at me.

"Oh _no_! Not on MY bed! No Meatball Head, don't! Get to the bathroom! No, no, NO!… Ew!"

"I don't like this whole blacking in and out thing," I grumbled from where I was lying on the floor. The whole room was hard to see and I moaned as I got to my knees. 

"Darien?" I called. "Darien, you idiot! Where are you? I need you! Um… I love you! I promise I'll never say anything mean to you again if you come over here right now." Yes, I could lie on occasion but the apartment was scary and quiet and my vision was not working very well. I had a right to feel paranoid, god damn it!

I crawled to the center of his living room before putting my knee onto his remote and accidentally turning on the TV. The room was suddenly alive as the sound system blared. 

"Ah!" I screamed, covering my ears. He just had to have a state-of-the-art system, didn't he! I knew for a fact he hardly ever watched any TV. Oh, I hated him. Here I was, a poor, defenseless little girl who had never done ANYTHING to ANYONE and I was half blind at the mercy of a maniac. Somehow I managed to turn the noise off. 

"Now Moon, what are we going to do?" In bad situations I had a nasty habit of talking to myself and, oh yeah, calling myself by my alter-ego. Then I was hit by a brilliant idea. What if I just changed into Sailor Moon to sleep? Granted, it had been years since I had done so and Darien might have a little bit of a shock when he came back to find the heroine Sailor Moon lying on his couch but still, it was nothing less than what he deserved for leaving me here. In fact, I hope he fainted! Heh, now wouldn't that be a Kodak moment. 

With that much decided, I reached weekly into the air and managed to remember my costume changing phrase. That alone was a miracle. By the time I was done, I was exhausted. The sofa looked so nice and soft…. I curled up and would have promptly begun to snore except that I don't snore. So I just went to sleep instead. 

"Eek!" there was a shriek followed by the thud of a person falling on her rump and breaking eggs. 

"Go'way," I moaned rolling over. 

"Serena what did you DO?!" was my horrified answer. Waiting a moment for my eyes to readjust to the light, I flopped onto my back. 

"Lita! What are you doing here?" 

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here! Holy moly, you didn't let Darien see you like that did you?!" Lita scooped up her grocery bag that was now leaking eggs and dashed to the kitchen. I followed after her a little more sedately. 

"NO! I'm not that stupid," I retorted, conveniently forgetting that I'd been hoping to give Darien a heart attack with my outfit. "Naturally I didn't let him see me like that."

"Well- just- um, turn back! We can't risk letting him see you like that," Lita took a deep calming breath and began to vigorously assemble food products. Lita's relaxation methods were either cooking or exercising. Personally, I preferred it when she cooked… that meant I got to eat. 

I groaned and went into Darien's bedroom to return to my original form. I rummaged through his clothes again before pulling out another knee length shirt and a seemingly endless pair of flannel pants. I rolled up the waistline of the pants and the sleeves of the shirt. I then marched back into the kitchen where very good smells were coming from. 

Lita was at the stove flipping pancakes. I licked my lips in delight. This was the kind of service I expect when I woke up in a strange house! Oh, food… pancakes… I was in heaven. 

"I don't think so," Lita held the plate temptingly out of reach as I grasped empty air for it. "You have to tell me what's going on first." Lita was a cruel taskmaster. A little piece of advice: never agree to spend a day at the gym with her. 

"Fine," I sighed with resignation. "But you have to give me the food first!" Lita twisted her mouth to the side but gave me the food anyway. My eyes filled with the tantalizing picture and I proceeded to dig in with relish. I was munching satisfactorily on a piece of pig (AKA bacon) when Lita interrupted me. 

"Okay, that's enough! Now spill," she folded her arms and looked very menacing. I swallowed the bacon that had become lodged in my throat during that moment of sheer terror and gulped some orange juice. Lita's brows furrowed. 

"Okay, okay, enough already. Sheesh." I sat back and patted my tummy contentedly. "It's all silly really, hardly worth talking about…"

"_Serena!_" Why couldn't Lita have been Ami? She was the only one that wouldn't bug you when there was hot off the press slice of gossip to be heard. At least Lita wasn't Mina, that would have been truly torturous. 

"Well it's weird. Anyway, um, some peculiar things have been going on," I began, scowling as I recalled everything. It's only in looking back that I began to feel angry. 

"Hmm," it looked like Lita had some gossip of her own to share but she wasn't about to hand it over. Guess I would just have to continue the story. 

"Okay, so for the past four weeks I've been waking up in the same bed as that Jerk and I haven't any memory of how I got there. Neither does he… _jerk_," I added to myself. 

"Until more recently, it was only once or twice a week but this last week, I woke up there every day except for once. That was the day I had forgotten my moon crystal at home. Well, last night Darien took me out for a celebratory dinner because we thought we had finally overcome whatever 'curse' was plaguing us. I got mad at him and then got a little bit drunk so he took me back here. That was when I noticed my necklace was glowing; I thought it was just because I was hallucinating or something. Well turns out, Darien saw it too. Next thing I know, I'm waking up with no clothes on and that scum is the same!" 

At the end of my story, I narrowed my eyes at Lita who had burst out laughing hysterically and barely managing to keep herself up straight. 

"Oh my gosh," she snickered. "I'm SO sorry Serena." There were a few additional giggles. "This is really serious. We should call a meeting." She paused and managed to catch her breath. "We need to discuss your secret desire for Darien Shields!" She started to cackle again. 

"Oh sure, let's all laugh at Serena because her stupid moon crystal's doing crazy things," I rolled my eyes. Lita started hiccupping she was laughing so hard. "Well I've got something that should interest you. I broke my moon crystal." 

Lita choked and her face turned a funny red color. "What?"

"I know," I sighed. "Can we just get out of here? I can't think anymore."

I was lucky that Lita was still in shock. Otherwise she might have made a comment about myself and the witless Darien that would not have been appreciated. 


	3. An Angry Feline

****

Author's Note: 

All the questions you probably have (like where Darien is and why Lita is there) are ones I wanted to have answered in the last chapter but, as you may have read, that was in reality only half of it. More stuff should be explained further in the this chapter! I may be bending certain aspects of Sailor Moon for my own twisted purposes and I'm terribly sorry if you can't stand it. If not, well I love you!

****

Disclaimer: 

If Sailor Moon were really mine, I'd force all the Generals to be good and love the girls again. After, of course, they spent a millennium worshiping at my feet. The soap opera 'Crimson Moon" is made up as far as I know. I just don't know what's going on with daytime anymore. After all, I'm at school! Unfortunately….

****

~*~

~*~ That Simple Magic ~*~

~*~

__

Chapter Three: An Angry Feline

"How come these things always pull me out last minute?" Rei Hino grumbled hailing a taxi. The petite woman was taking halting steps through the traffic to reach the yellow cab. "Stupid shoes!" 

She was dressed in a scarlet skirt that ended demurely at her knees and a matching blazer. Her black hair was carefully smoothed back over her violent purple eyes that sometimes were a little too much like Luna's when they were ragging me. Rei swore as the heel broke on her strappy black pumps that were responsible for much pain. She frowned and clambered into the taxi. She had just been at a luncheon with her future in-laws. Jake had been forced to cover for her when she dove to the door for this call. I knew what she was thinking: there hadn't been an attack in years. Who did they think they were calling a meeting now? It had better not be one of Serena's jokes again…!

Ami Mizuno ran a delicate hand through her wavy, dark blue hair. According to her watch, she only had ten minutes to go until her lunch break. Only ten more minutes, she chanted to herself as she cleared the paperwork from her desk. The astringent smell of alcohol pervaded her doctor's office even though it was distanced from her work spaces. Ami couldn't condone in all consciousness skipping out before she allowed herself to in her time schedule. Even if she desperately wanted to. 

"Goodbye Mr. Jones," she muttered with satisfaction, placing the last stack of papers in her filing cabinet. Five more minutes left. From Ami's purse there was a resounding beeping noise. Ami's eyebrow elevated a notch. That was a sound that seemed vaguely familiar. Hmph! Ami decided that if it was one more patient that just "needed" to be seen, even if he or her were on their death bed, it would have to wait. She grabbed her purse and rummaged through it, taking out a small paging devise that was as blue as her eyes. Both of Ami's eyebrows were quirked by now. Now _this _was something that could condone shifting off early. She hung her white physician's coat on its hook with intense satisfaction. 

The fashion model _Venus_ groaned and rubbed her eyes. What time was it? Two, three in the morning? She blew her strands of long blond hair out of her eyes. Beside her, a man grumbled. _Venus _smiled fondly at him and gently kissed his white hair. Then her blue eyes widened she tried to find the cause of the noise. It was coming from the drawer of her bedside table. _Venus_ ripped open the door and hurled the blinking device against the wall of her London flat. Her white cat meowed. _Venus _idly wondered why she had put her alarm in the drawer before drifting off to sleep again.

The black cat was running irritably up the street. Her carefully groomed fur was being ruffled by the wind and she had been in the middle of a soap at the Tsukino homestead. Of course, this particular feline would never have admitted to watching daytime television. Especially not to the girls she mentored or her good friend Artemis. For now, she contented herself with being furious at an emergency call that probably just meant her charge was having a bad hair day. 

How did I know all this was happening? Well, I don't know! Chalk it up to me being the Princess, all- knowing and omniscient. Wait, that's Setsuna. No, um, that's… well, never mind. I'm just going to continue now. 

Lita and I were in her car on the way to my apartment which was where everybody had been summoned. Unfortunately, we were currently stuck in a traffic jam and for some reason Lita was listening to the news. Ew. I decided to change it.

"So…," I trailed off. Lita's knuckles were white, she was gripping the steering wheel so hard. 

"So…." Lita tossed her pony tail of long brown hair over her shoulder. 

"Yeah. So…." Okay this conversation was going no where and neither was this car. I had to do something, say something, SOMETHING! "What were you doing at Darien's place?"

"You're not jealous are you?" Lita looked over and grinned showing all her teeth. I choked and hacked for a minute. 

"What? _Of course not_! That's just preposterous!" I sputtered. "You must be going senile Leets or had you not been listening to my story back there?"

"Oh I heard it. And you just called him Darien." Lita was really starting to remind me eerily of a wolf. A hungry, carnivorous wolf out to devour young, innocent girls like me. I narrowed my eyes at her, hoping that she'd get the point. In the background, the radio DJ was talking about how gorgeous bachelor of the year, Darien Shields, was. 

I hated my life. 

"Just kidding, jeez," my supposed friend rolled her eyes. "_Darien_ called me before he left for Europe. Said something like he thought you needed a ride or something."

"He's in Europe? That cad didn't even say goodbye!" I was jerked backwards as Lita put her foot on the gas pedal. 

"I never knew you cared some much about him."

I frowned and 'humph'ed. No matter how much I tried, Lita kept returning to the same point. And it was _definitely _a non-important one. Like I cared a spicket about that ogre licking, bowl of booger scum.

Pulling into the parking lot, I spotted Ami's classic navy colored convertible. A taxi was pulling away from the curb and I thought I could see Rei's long black hair swinging in past the door. I screwed up my face. They were not going to be happy if I was late to the meeting that Lita and I had mutually decided to call (actually it had been more Lita than me but never mind.) 

As I had suspected, Lita and I were the last ones to arrive. Everyone else had made themselves comfortable in my place (Rei having jimmied open the lock mere seconds before the elevator door opened and I popped out). She and Luna were sporting identical scowls but Ami looked pretty pleased. That was a little weird. She didn't usually like things happening that weren't in her schedule. 

"Um, hi," I said uncomfortably as two pairs of furious purple eyes looked at me. "I guess you want to know why you're here."

"Duh," Rei crossed her arms. "I'll have you know I was in the middle of a meal with Richard and Kasia! Do you know what's going to happen when they hate me for life? Jake's never going to marry me, that's what!" Her nostrils flared. I wondered if mine ever did that when I was angry. 

"I was very busy, Serena," Luna said angrily as she paced the coffee table. She leapt nimbly to the couch and kneaded her claws into the expensive upholstery. My lips tightened: did she know how much that cost?!

"Oh right, busy watching Lawrence have an affair with Cassandra on Crimson Moon," I snorted. Luna's eyes narrowed and she turned her head away from the rest of the girls for a few minutes while they stared at her. Ami coughed politely. 

"Is that what this meeting is about? You can see what we're doing? I hadn't realized that you're powers as the Princess hadn't been fully grown into yet." She rested her chin on a hand thoughtfully. 

"I don't know what you're thinking- I'm definitely grown up now!" I protested, my cheeks flushing. "But, um, it is something that sort of has something to do with that." Lita nodded, her jade eyes twinkling wickedly. 

"Oh yeah, wait till you hear this one too!" she said, relishing the future reaction. I made a mental note: kill Lita later. I looked at the ground when everyone returned their gazes to me. 

"Yeah…," I trailed off and reached into my pocket. "It has sort of has to do with my crystal."

"I noticed it's not around your neck," Ami frowned. Of course Miss Perfect noticed. "You didn't lose it, did you?" Lita smiled smugly. 

"Oh it's worse."

I shot her a glare and she winked back at me. It was like she was enjoying this. 

"Just trying to lighten the mood, is all."

"It's not helping," I muttered. I went on to explain what had been happening between me and Darien over the past weeks. Twenty minutes later, Ami's face was scarlet. Rei looked ready to explode. Luna was sharpening her claws for an attack session. 

"I don't see what's so bad about this," Ami finally said. "We have to find out what's making the crystal act this way but I'm pretty sure it's not from some evil force. The crystal just thinks you and Darien should be together." I shuddered and smiled weakly. 

"Where's the crystal now?" Ami continued. "I'd like to have a look at it."

"Of course we don't blame you for not wearing it today," Luna said in a motherly fashion, all the while looking like a predator waiting to stalk its prey. 

"Um, that's not the worst part," I finally took out what I had been fiddling with in my pocket. The crystal had been split perfectly into two shards. The light from the window was reflected from it and bounced in pink, yellow, and blue rainbows around the room. 

I'll always remember that day with a little bit of humor. It was the first time I ever saw Luna faint. She went stiff and flopped backwards onto the shredded fabric of my couch. Her four furry legs were rigid and straight in the air. 

Ami was incapable of speech. She was just frozen but Rei was inhibited by nothing. 

"WHAT DID YOU _DO_ MEATBALL HEAD?" she roared, springing from her seat. 

"I WASN'T THINKING, OKAY?" I yelled back, my fingers tight around the twin remaining pieces of my crystal. "I mean, I remembered it glowing and enticing Darien forward and doing all this stuff that didn't exactly seem like it was _helping _me! What was I supposed to do? Let myself and Darien be possessed by the crystal?!"

"I think everyone needs to calm down," Lita said in her most soothing voice.

"Calm down?" Ami squeaked. "Look at Luna!"

I looked down at my cat and was forced to clap a hand over my mouth to keep my giggles to myself. My poor kitty! Hee hee, I needed some water to wake her up. Cold water like she used to let my brother pour on me on school mornings. 

"No way Serena," Ami croaked when she realized what I was thinking. Her voice wasn't back to its normal functioning yet. 

"Why not?" I asked. Sure I would be killed when Luna woke up but her expression would be worth it…. As luck would have it, I was spared my temptation because Luna revived herself on her own. However, she was far from happy. I hadn't any time to duck as she sprang to my face, claws unsheathed and teeth glinting. 

"_ACK!_"


	4. Best Seller Ami's Tell All Conversation

****

Author's Note: 

I'm so sorry about taking a while to update. For some reason the teachers at the here have decided that they must get in all their tests before holiday break and my D isn't helping anything with my parents. More importantly: I had this chapter all planned out in my head… and then I lost it. Which is why this is shorter than I wanted it to be.

This chapter is made possible by a snow day. Therefore, it is dedicated to Reginald MacDonald who is superintendent and decides when we don't have to go to school. Even though Reggie isn't going to read this I just want to say: Thank! You!

****

Disclaimer: 

Darien is in love with Serena in Sailor Moon. That there should tell you right off that I don't own the Sailor Scouts. 

****

~*~

~*~ That Simple Magic ~*~

__

****

~*~

__

Chapter Four: Best Seller- Ami's Tell All Conversation

There was a long, crusty scab running right over my left eyebrow. That description just sounds plain disgusting. I still can't believe that Luna did that! My cat had just suddenly gone lunar and tried to take me out! What was wrong with the world?

"Stop picking at it," Molly said, walking into my office with a pile of folders. Her red hair bounced in its pony tail as I sat behind my desk. "A Mister Darien Shields called to say that he expected you to lock up his place so that he wouldn't be robbed by the time he got back from Europe. Said something about 'leave it to Meatball Head to…' but I wasn't really paying attention. I'd just gotten a run in my nylons." She blew a strand of hair out of her face and looked at me. "So…."

"Yeah?" 

"Well aren't you going to tell me what's that all about? I mean, how often do guys call you? How about never Serena Tsukino!"

"When you say it like that," I sniffed. Sheesh, it sounded like I never had any boyfriends. Actually… well you can't blame a girl for getting hung up on a sexy man in a tuxedo. Was it really my fault that I never found out who his alter-ego was? No! So just because I was holding out for the one day when I'd see my Tuxedo again didn't mean I was a loser. No way. 

"Fine," Molly grumbled before leaving. She could be positively brutal when it came to extracting gossip. I was just glad she was going to go easy on me for once. It wasn't like I was taking the loss of my moon crystal particularly well. I missed it a lot. I still had the fragmented pieces but it was like getting an ice cream sundae without the whipped cream and cherry. It was just ice cream and fudge- and that's no way to make a sundae!

"I can't believe he left!" I said snappishly, slurping on my chocolate milkshake. It was later and the day and all the girls and I were gathered in a booth at the Crown Arcade. In half an hour we were going to pick up Mina from the airport. "We had to… talk… and stuff!" 

"Sounds like Darien deprivation to me," Rei grinned from across the booth. "I always knew you had a crush on him, Meatball Head."

"I do not, repeat _not _have a crush on that waste of material," I retorted. "But I think you'd agree that there was something there that HAS to be discussed."

"This conversation is ending right now," Ami's soft voice interrupted. "I am not going to be sucked into another conversation about sex. Once was enough, thank you." We all stared at her and her complexion turned slightly pink. "What?" she demanded, fiddling with her silver bracelet. "I'm just saying I don't like where this is going."

"Mina would be so proud of you, Ami," Lita said winking at her. Ami blushed more and she looked studiously at her burger. "Who knows… perhaps Ami will get a little more experience."

Ami's jaw snapped. "I'll have you know that I have more experience than you think!" 

I choked on my milkshake, Lita's soda sloshed over the side of her cup, and Rei burst out laughing. 

"Oh- oh, that's a good one," she giggled. Then she froze, "Oh my god, you meant that!"

"Seriously?" I gasped. "Ami! I can't believe you were holding out on us like that!" Then I smiled viciously. "Can I be the first one to tell Mina? Please, please, please with sugar on top?" I shivered with delightful anticipation. Mina was going to die- as the soldier of love she felt she had first dibs on our love-life gossip. I eagerly began to dry wash my hands, a cackle forming in my throat.

"Actually, she already knows," Ami said taking a small bite out of her burger. "It was six years ago, quite a long time ago actually."

I screwed up my nose, counting backwards. "You were _sixteen_?" I exclaimed in horror. My first was… well, I didn't even want to go there. I had an inkling that it had ended up being Darien Shields because up until a month ago, I hadn't gone that far with fooling around. I told you I took making love seriously, didn't I? I still couldn't understand why I wasn't so upset about that particular incident… um, incidents. It was like there was some wall that was supposed to be there was neglecting its duties when involved with Darien. And let me tell you, this "wall" was due for a chat. I wasn't about to go thinking romantic thoughts about my enemy! There was still a lazy, hinting feeling in the back of my mind that I didn't mind that Jerk so much. That was just a silly notion.

But the though that even Ami had reached that point before me- well, words fail me! The humiliation, the scandal. And it was thanks to Darien Shields that I wasn't left out of this club. I'd call rape but it was my crystal that had been emitting the whatever. So technically, it was my fault. Stupid crystal!

"Well," and Lita whistled. "This was a little more… revealing… luncheon than I had realized it was going to be. Anyway, we'd better get moving. Mina would never forgive us if we stood her up at the airport."

"I'd say she deserves it," Rei grouched, slinging her purse onto her shoulders. "Holding out on us like that!" 

If it was possible, Ami's face turned even pinker. 

Mina was in such a buoyant mood, she was positively floating. She was perched cheerfully on the edge of a counter chatting to an airport official, twirling a strand of her long blond hair. Dressed in a classy cream colored dress that could only be straight from a designer's rack, a red pair of stilettos, and a matching purse slinking down her arm, I envied the money Mina had to buy such clothes. 

"Sere-chan!" she chirped, immediately hopping from the counter much to the official's disappointment. She hurriedly crushed me in a hug. "You have to tell me everything! I tell you, I've been getting the oddest sensations from you."

"What?" I stammered. Then I remembered that as the leader of the senshi, Mina had some extra powers of her own. They weren't limited to just the Princess. 

"You and Darien, you little minx!" Mina giggled. "Although he is a fine looking man, I can't believe you waited so long to jump his bones." She licked her lips. I groaned- this must have been the same way Mina had figured out about Ami and her rendezvous. 

"I don't even want to talk about it," I said, sticking my nose in the air. "I don't see how it's any of your business."

"Don't be silly darling, you called a Meeting about it," Mina retorted. "I remember because I threw the communicator at the wall."

"I know," I answered. "And I want to know who that man was that was in bed with you." The three others turned to regard Mina curiously and her ears turned red. Today was just a day for blushing.

"I really don't see how _that _is any of your business," Mina gathered her dignity. 

"Right- so no more thoughts about how Darien and I get kinky together."

I don't know why I threw that comment in but it was worth every word to see the way every single one of my friends looked ill or at least very green. So worth it. 

"Ew," Rei wrinkled her nose as if getting a whiff of something nauseating. "Way too much information there, Meatball Head." I narrowed my eyes venomously at her. 

"I _thought_ I told you never to call me that!"

__

The cathedral was just as it always had been in my dreams. The stained glass cast jeweled tones over my friends in their pink bridesmaid dresses. Mina looked like she was in blissful raptures, Ami was sniffling, and Rei was batting her eyes furiously. Lita beamed at me, the grin splitting her face even as a couple of tears made their way down her face. I smiled back

I glanced back from where I was standing. There in the front row was my family; Mum was holding a tissue over her nose, Dad still looking suspiciously at my future husband, and Sammy ready to burst with pride. I busted with pride for him, in his handsome suit and narrow tie. Gazing at my baby brother, I realized how much he had grown. It probably wouldn't be long until he was standing at the alter himself. 

The aisle was strewn with dusky rose petals and the pews were decorated with large bows. I was holding a bouquet of crimson roses against the thick folds of my ivory dress. It was a winter wedding. My husband-to-be stood next to me but the odd lighting obscured his face. All I could see was the thick coal black hair lightly dusting his ears. Figures that my future husband couldn't even get a hair cut at our wedding even in my dream!

The priest droned on and I tuned out- we had already made our vows. My lover turned, bending closer to me. I stared fixedly at his shiny shoes where I could see my reflection His hands descended gently, lifting the lacy tulle veil over my head. Then his hands turned my chin up to see his face. This was usually where my dream ended and I woke up. My jaw dropped and I recognized the familiar, heady cologne and passionate blue eyes. 

"Odango Atama," he said the endearment softly, in his native language. I wet my lips and stepped closer. I reached for him, longing to hold him close, caress his lips with mine, and never let go forever. I rose to my tip toes and his head lowered. I was brushing his lips with mine….

"Ahh!" I screamed, bolting upright in bed before proceeding to fall to the floor. The tangled sheets had twisted around my legs during slumber caught my flailing body just before my nose smashed into the floor. There was a pattering of feet outside of my door and I stared disgustedly at the pattern on my carpet. 

"What happened? Where is he? What's wrong? Don't worry, I'll get it!" Mina panted, looming in the doorway. After she scanned the room, she realized there was no one there but me. "Okay, what the heck just happened?"

"Dream," I mumbled sulkily and let the rest of my body hit the floor. I climbed out of the blankets and into my fluffy pink bathrobe. There was no more sleep for me today, that was for sure! "More like a nightmare!"

"Well," Mina's presence had diminished when she had decided there wasn't a threat. "Well. What was the dream about? It was about a guy, wasn't it? Oh I know it was! Let me guess, there was an evil villain chasing you through a haunted castle with ghosts while your true love searched frantically for you in the enchanted forest," she trailed off and pursed her lips thoughtfully. Her eyes half focused as her mind drifted onto her own true love and whether she would ever find him. Then she snapped back. "You had a dream about Darien, didn't you?!"

"NO!" I yelped. "Are you kidding? Yuck, ew, why would I have a dream about that jerk?" Jerk indeed. I can't believe he wormed his way into my favorite fantasy like that. Can't he tell where he's not wanted? That was just rude. 

"Oh sure," Mina wiggled her eyebrows at me as she turned at the door. "As Lita would say, 'Me thinks thou dost protest too much!'"

I scowled at her and sorted through ideas for Mina's _painful _ death. Most of them I was forced to discard because I wasn't sure where to get a man-eating alien that could take Mina away on his ship, strap her in a chair, and force her to watch the episodes of Sailor V over and over again. She always hated that haircut (although I really didn't see the difference between that and what she had today). 

A little while later I emerged from the foggy bathroom where I had been seeking refuge under the warm shower. My hair was slightly damp as I braided the long strands of my hair. I had dressed in the large shirt folded neatly on top of my dresser. Please, like I was really going to make an effort to look nice after waking up at the ungodly hour of nine o' clock! On a weekend!

"Good morning," Mina chirped, twirling the phone cord around her finger. She was in an absolutely glowing mood as I trudged to the refrigerator and hoped fervently that it had nothing to do with my dream. My luck had been running off course ever since I woke up so I should have expected that all I would find would be the remains of an orange juice bottle and moldy cheese. I started searching through my cupboards blindly for coffee mix or something. I didn't usually like to drink caffeine because it gave me such a high that I actually like Darien during it but I was desperate enough to gulp some of the bitter liquid down. Besides, _Darien _had gone to _Europe_. Jerk. 

"No, no, don't be silly darling," Mina was cooing over the phone. She giggled. "Yes, you have to come. I want you to meet everyone! Don't you want to meet my friends, sweetie?"

"Mina!" I gurgled through a disgusting gulp of coffee. Note to self: always buy espresso drinks at a café, never make it. "That better not be long distance!"

Mina pouted and said goodbye to whichever boyfriend was presently on the phone. She claims to never have had more than three at a time but I distinctly recall her juggling five one summer. How come she got five and all I got was Tuxedo? I didn't even get to see him anymore! This so wasn't fair. 

"So, Sere-Bear," Mina said, looking at me slyly. "You weren't dreaming about Darien Shields?"

"No," I frowned, wishing that lightening would just strike my friend down. "Never."

"Then why are you wearing his shirt?"

"I'm not-" I began distractedly and glanced at what I was wearing. Sure enough, I should have known from the crisp fabric and the way it hung to my knees… not to mention the scent of Darien that clung to it even after _three_ washings. I wrapped my arms around me. "That," I said coldly, "is really none of your business. Unless you want to tell me who that white haired man is. I'm really quite curious."

Mina glowered at me even as pink blossomed over her rosy cheeks. "You should now by now that I don't kiss and tell."

"Well, neither do I," I answered with a happy feeling fluttering in my chest. Chalk one up to Serena Tsukino!

"Oh, so you admit you've been kissing him then?" Mina pounced on the statement. I 'hrumphed' and stalked out of the kitchen with as much dignity as I could. 

"I always knew you loved him!" Mina called joyously from her seat. Love? Who said anything about love? I didn't love Darien and I never would. I knew that for a fact. Despite the nagging impression in the pit of my stomach that was waiting for Darien to come home so I could feel safe, I knew. There was nothing between us but extreme hatred. At least there was that. 

But indifference was worse. From the way hair was raising on the back of my neck, I could figure that things were going to be changing between the two of us. I just hoped it didn't involve him and a supermodel girlfriend. 


	5. Bridesmaids

****

My Screw-ups: 

* Someone mentioned it and I have to confess: I'm terrible the way I mix up names. I always have to go back to make sure I'm using the right spelling too since I generally spell it different ways in different stories (before you go looking if you're a wonderful person, no, I haven't actually _posted_ any other Moonie stories yet). I really hope it doesn't confuse anyone but I'm sure you get the gist of who I'm talking about ~_*

* I also screwed up the ages last chapter. If you had done the math, what I said was Ami was twenty-two. I'm using all the girls as the same age, twenty-four. Sorry if that screwed anyone up. It certainly screwed me up!

__

Sorry it took me so long to update!!! I was the victim of a silly computer ban but it finally released me a couple of days ago. Not that I'm bitter or anything… it's more the fact that my frosted mini-wheats this morning weren't exactly frosted. There was like the smallest coating of sugar possible and… well, that's beside the point. After all, who really needs to hear me discuss my cereal?

****

~*~

~*~ That Simple Magic ~*~

~*~

__

Chapter Five: Bridesmaids

"Um, Rei?" I said, poking through the scattered magazines on the floor. "Are you even allowed to have this many bridesmaids?"

All five of us were grouped in the tiny apartment Rei and Jake shared. Surrounding us had to be something like two billion different catalogues. I mean, come on! Did we really have to go through every single one of these? Couldn't we just pick some horrific pink taffeta thingy and be done with it? Although, on second thought, I always look nice in pink… note to self: vote for pink. 

"Well it's not as if I can leave any of you out," Rei's voice came, muffled from behind the bajillion page epistle she was flipping through. "And I have to have Berry, it's not like she can be best man or anything."

"I guess that is true," I admitted, snapping my bubblegum. Ami winced but Mina looked proudly at her pupil. She spent a whole English class teaching me how to do that junior year. "After all, Berry _is_ Jake's sister."

"Hm."

I looked back at the ten pound thing resting in my lap. I was on item 18941 and the catalogue had started at 1. Some of these competitors were just getting ridiculous. My mind drifted back to the dream that I'd had that morning about my own wedding. There must have been matrimony in the air or something, it's the only explanation that I could accept without completely killing my years-old views on life. Destroying my hatred with Darien would only lead to ultimate self-betrayal in my book. And if there's one thing you never betray, it's you. For obvious reasons. 

I already had had my own wedding picked out since I was fourteen. Every once in a while, it changes. For example, at first it was going to be in the spring. Then it was going to be winter. Recently, I've revised it to spring again. Summery-spring with roses and daisies, cute little bunnies, and pink bridesmaid dresses. The day was definitely going to be sunny too. Surely, the fates wouldn't hate me enough to make it rain on my wedding day. There had to be some sort of law against that kind of universal hate-Serena theme. I mean, Moon Princess sitting here! But you know, I occasionally wonder if I'm getting paranoid in my old age. 

"That's the one!" Mina suddenly cried, pointing at the top of her stack. We gazed at her blankly. 

"You don't really expect me to move from underneath here to see it, right?" Rei grumbled. "I'm the one getting married here!"

"Fine, you guys are so lazy," Mina said and she heaved her choice into the air. I stared at it. I was going to look like a _tart_ if I wore it! Heck, we would _all_ look like tarts if we wore it! Trust Mina to pick it out. I would bet a lot of money that she choose it so she could look good in front of that white haired man. Thinking of him, I still had to wrangle out of Mina who it was… I just hoped that she wasn't getting into the Sugar Daddy type of affair. That's just gross. He could be seventy, old, decapitated, limp. Ew, I didn't even think that word! Have you ever noticed how when you say 'the limp noodles grasped in my chopsticks' is different from just saying 'limp'? How has our language automatically become entirely innuendos about sex? For instance: are you satisfied? Couldn't that just mean 'are you satisfied with your lot in life'? Did I miss the broadcast that said it had something to do with your personal life? Wow. My mind has really been in the gutter lately. That's all Darien's fault too.

Back to the dress. It was scarlet red with a low collar and even lower back. That slit almost went up the whole dress! How was I supposed to fit into it anyway? Sure, from some angles the dress _looked _like it was decent but I knew that was just a front. It was made _expressly_ to embarrass _modest_ people like me. 

"Oh my gosh!" Rei sighed. "I love it!" 

This was just too much for me. Ami was blushing and fingering her conservative blue shirt like it was too much for her too. 

"Um," I pushed back a strand of blond hair. "You wouldn't change your mind, would you? Because there is no way you are getting me in public with that thing on. I would rather wear sweatpants and you know how I feel about those ugly inventions of a blind person."

"Serena Tsukino," her purple eyes glared at me. I shriveled under Rei's gaze. "Don't you even THINK it! You are not going to ruin my wedding. You are wearing that dress and that's IT!" She slammed her hand down on her knee. "Ouch."

"Um," I looked to Ami for support. She shrugged slightly. Traitor! Just because it was Rei's wedding didn't mean we had to actually listen to her for once! What was wrong with all these people? Did they not understand how men-creature's minds work? If anyone dared to approach me, I couldn't be held responsible if I suddenly went Moon-princess on them- Rei's wedding or not! Damn it! No one understands me. 

"Don't even say it, Meatball Brains," Rei warned menacingly. The Pyrite's ears were almost issuing steam. 

"Um," I sighed. I didn't say anything else for the rest of the afternoon. 

The wind had picked up as I left Rei's apartment. Frowning, I wrapped my scarf around my neck a little more tightly. It was strange how suddenly the weather had begun to change. It had been unseasonably warm all through what should have been fall but now it was really, really cold. I really, really don't like coldness. Of course it was only natural that when I began to think that we wouldn't have a real winter- here came winter knocking on my door and giving me the sniffles! And behold! The world is against Serena once more!

I practically ran to the arcade through the chill. That alone was a miracle since I'm known for laziness. The arcade was just about empty and Andrew was standing there, like he always was, casually wiping down the counters. I shouldn't really be thinking 'always' though because Andrew was hardly ever there anymore. Now he a real job as a professor at the university, something I still don't understand considering he swore till he was blue in the face that he wouldn't become a teacher like his dad. Some people just can't stick to their oaths! Which reminds me, I haven't exactly been sticking to my New Years Resolution. Oops. 

"Hey Serena," Andrew said, flicking the counter one last time with his rag. "What can I getcha?"

"Hot chocolate, extra whipped cream please," I mumbled, enjoying the blast of warm air that came from entering the arcade. Arctic chills in the summer and tropical heat in the winter- no wonder I used to live out of the arcade when I was younger. 

Andrew set the mug in front of me on a napkin, which was a good thing considering my habit of spilling. I hunched my shoulders protectively around the chocolate. Then I realized what I was doing and stopped. It was plain ridiculous how I expected it to be snatched away from me. Yes, Serena, there really is the Hot Chocolate Kidnapper out to steal hot chocolate from the innocent civilians of Tokyo. Another good reason to abandon the hunching-shoulders habit was because that Jerk had done the same when I first met him. Oh my gosh! I can't believe I've been copying him for _years_! Will the madness never end?

The bell chimed again as a red head entered Andrew's Domain. She was tall and slightly plump with a generous bust size. To tell the truth, I wouldn't mind being slightly plump if it gave me boobs. Some people have all the luck, I tell you! Anyway, this _buxom _red head walked gracefully to the stool next to me and sat down. 

"Hi Serena," stranger Red Head with the Enviable Chest said. 

"Um, hello," I answered cautiously. Now wouldn't it be interesting if there really _was_ a Hot Chocolate Kidnapper. My shoulders hunched of there own accord; I tried to stop them! Really, I did! But sometimes my body doesn't always listen to me. For instance, the logical half of my brain is desperately yelling that there is NO-SUCH-THING-AS-A-PERSON-THAT-KIDNAPS-HOT-CHOCOLATE. Obviously my body doesn't believe a word my brain is saying. 

RH w/the EC narrowed her jade colored eyes at me. "You have no idea who I am, do you?"

My cheeks blushed of their own accord. See? See what I mean? My body totally disregards whatever my brain says. That's why I fall over all the time. "You could say that."

"I'm Berry. Jake's sister." 

Oh yes, I remember her. I think I made a conscious effort to block her from my mind (and actually succeeded) after she made some snide comment about me. It was to the guy I had dragged along to the official dinner party where Jake and Rei made their engagement announcement; needless to say, I hadn't bonded with Rei's future sister-in-law very much. After all, it wasn't like I was the one marrying Jake! Berry had hit on every guy that could shave his chin, and some that were just managing to grow fuzz. I was mad that she had had the nerve to do that little slithery shake thingy with my date but considering I can't even remember his name, I suppose I could forgive her. That didn't mean I actually had to like the skank, of course. 

"It's good to see you again," I answered politely, my lips stretching into what had to be the fakest grin of the century. "Rei picked out the bridesmaid dresses today. We're in some red thing."

"How wonderful," Berry answered just as politely. She swung around the stool and pushed out her chest towards Andrew- the man was married for goodness sakes! "Could I have some coffee please?" she enunciated with a great smacking of her large, ruby lips. My hatred was clearly coming back to me now. I choked down the rest of my hot chocolate, scalded my tongue in the proceedings, and left Andrew to his fate. I was an awful friend, yeah, sure, but there was no way I was staying there longer than I had to. Not with Berry cooing every second word. Yuck. Who could possible have a crush on Andrew? (I'm so glad everyone conveniently forgot what I was like when I was fourteen. Except for… but he doesn't count because he's a jerk anyway. In my opinion, they don't devote nearly enough scientific research towards the cure for the common jerk. Not to mention that I needed to update my insults.)

Andrew's hunted eyes followed me to the door and I managed to successfully ignore them… for the most part anyway. I may never get to drink his hot chocolate ever again though. Small sacrifices for the good of many or at least just me. 

I hummed to myself, bobbing down the sidewalk to my own beat. The wind was gone and the sun was out. The snow was melting into grey slush around my black boots, soon it would be spring! Ah, the list of happy facts went on. 

Item 1. Winter was almost over

Item 2. My new spring coat was going to be just too cute for words. Mina was even springing for the money!

Item 3. Darien the Jerk was gone… maybe even forever. If my luck holds, he may meet some size zero Swedish supermodel and never come back

Item 4. Not quite sure that Item 3 is positive but keeping it there

Item 5. Rei was getting married! 

Item 6. For some strange reason, I was beginning to appreciate steamed carrots. Mushy carrots used to be the last letter in 'gross' for me but this was highly convenient since Rei had opted to serve steamed carrots. 

As you can see, I was a perfectly happy, well-rounded person. So I continued singing my own background music until some unfortunate being decided to get in my way. 

"Ouch!" I squeaked as I bounced onto the ground. I wasn't so fond of the end-of-the-winter-slush now that it was soaking through my pants. Not to mention my new pink scarf was trailing into the mess. "Why did you bump into me, you jerk?!"

"It never fails," my assailant groaned. "First person I see when I get back from Europe just has to be Meatball Head!"

Huh? Darien was back? Automatically he's cancelled out two happy items on my list. Okay Bucko, your stats aren't looking that great to me right now. 

"And where do you get off leaving me unattended in your apartment? With the door unlocked? Any weirdo could have come in and taken advantage of me in my weakened state? Oh no, mister almighty Darien Shields just has to jaunt off to Europe for two weeks! We had things to discuss, damn it!" I banged my fist into the slush and then instantly regretted it. Damp mittens were never appreciated. 

"What? I was supposed to ignore a business meeting that had been planned for months just because you were more insane than usual and can't handle your liquor? At least I called you."

"Once, you toxic trash dump!" I shrieked. "And that was just to say 'lock up my apartment'!"

"Fine," Darien growled. He hoisted me back on my feet. "We'll talk now, I was on my way to the arcade anyway." 

I peeled my mittens off of my freezing hands. "Um, heh heh," I said nervously as I blew on my fingers. "Why don't we go somewhere else?"

"Why?" Darien frowned. "I haven't talked to Drew in a while anyway, I should stop by and say hello."

"Why?" I gasped, delaying for time. "Because… because.. Because I'm trying to lose weight, you jerk, and every time I go in there I have to order something!" I scowled and stuck a hand on my hip. Of course there was no way for Darien to get out of this situation; I had him trapped. I wasn't going to face doom from an angry Andrew any time soon, muwahaha!

"Good for you Odango," Darien said ruffling my hair. "I noticed you had added a couple of pounds."

Wha-? My scowl melted into a shocked expression and my jaw dropped. Did he just say what I think he just said? Woah! Okay, Darien was so going to die for that comment. Who was he to say what was overweight? I was perfectly natural and healthy, not some twiggy stick. 

"Huh!" a squeak whuffed out of me. Not quite a death threat but he should have been able to read through the lines. 

"Let's go then," Darien said, tucking my limp (not a sexual innuendo!) hand under his elbow. "There's a nice little bakery I've been meaning to try anyway." My muscles were slack, I couldn't do anything! I was just helpless as Darien dragged me along to whatever hell hole he had picked! 

I fed my mind numerous images of me throttling Darien. That SOB had a lot of work cut out for him if he didn't want to die a slow and painful death!

__

A/N uh oh Darien. That was stupid! Never comment on a girl's weight!!


	6. Lady in Red

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*~ That Simple Magic ~*~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

__

Chapter Six: Lady in Red

"What's wrong with you?" Darien exclaimed in frustration, tapping his fingers on the smooth linen tablecloth. 

"What do you think?" I spat, crossing my arms defensively under my chest. We were seated next to the window of BBB (Bread & Butter Bakery). The sun of late afternoon was settling on my head, attempting to sooth me with its warmth. Hah! Like that was going to happen! Darien had called me _fat_!! Flaky crumbs were all that were left of my pastry and they were lucky to have survived considering how quickly their companions had vanished. But that still didn't give him the right to insult my weight!

"I don't know, Meatballs!" Darien almost cried in exasperation. Right, that's what he should be doing, he should be crying because he insulted me. The Moon Princess! If this had still been the Moon Kingdom I would have his _head_ for that!

"Just like a guy," I sneered. "You seriously can't figure it out?"

"NO!" Darien roared. The nice lady at the cash register looked at us curiously. I smiled and waved! No sense in alienating her since I had no doubt I'd be back here soon. Their food was delicious.

"Well, fine," I snapped when I turned back to Darien. "How could you possibly forget that you called me fat?"

"I did wha-? I did _not_, Meatball Head! Are you taking drugs? Something is definitely screwing with your mind."

Okay, everyone is with me, right? You all head what he said, right? That's what I thought. He definitely said I had added a couple of pounds. He had to pay. 

"You listen to me, Jerk-off, I heard you say I had added a couple of pounds," I leaned over the table and stabbed him accusingly with my finger. I hoped it left a bruise. 

"But you-" 

"I don't want to hear it!" I flung myself from my seat. "You know what? We're discussing everything later. I can't even be near you right now. _Jerk_." My eyes narrowed of their own accord but I was in no mood to think about how my body ignored my mind again. I hated Darien Shields heart, body, and soul. Like I cared if he had supermodel girlfriend. I hoped she was nasty, and bony, and rude; one that he deserved. Obviously, he didn't deserve the small, somewhat backwards thoughts I had been prone to having lately. People thought that Darien was suave, charismatic, and smooth. Darien was a jerk. 

"He did _what_?" Lita gasped, fumbling with the box of pancake mix that had almost slipped from her grasp. I was leaning against the shopping cart, slowly rocking it back and forth. "Jerk!"

"Yep," I answered with a virtuous shake of my head. "Now don't you see what I've been saying all these years? Darien Shields is class A enemy!"

"Well he isn't usually like that," Lita frowned at me as I tried to drop a bag of chocolates into the cart. I blushed and put them behind my back guiltily. "Darien has to be one of the sweetest guys I know. He even knows how to cook!" Yeah, I remember that. I also remember how he wouldn't GIVE ME ANY OF HIS FOOD when he did cook. Lita turned around to pick out some more dried goods and I hastily dropped the bag of chocolates into the cart. 

"Just because a guy knows how to cook doesn't mean they're a good person, Lita," I grumbled. Then I froze, "Oh my goodness, what if he's gay?"

"Just because a guy knows how to cook doesn't mean they're gay," Lita mimicked. She snickered, "Though it would explain why he slept with you."

Well did you ever! I instantly began plotting against Lita as she fished my bag of chocolates out of the cart and put them back on the shelf. Salt just kept piling on this wound!

The next morning, I did my exercises. Stretch, click, crack, click, stretch, click. My thumb was busily at work, darting vigorously over the remote. Various bright lights flashed in my face. Stretch, click, crack, stretch, click, crack. 

"Really Serena, can't you just choose something already?" Luna demanded from her position draped around my neck. "The way your thumb keeps cracking is revolting." I grunted and dropped the remote into my lap. There was a commercial for Mama's Sushi on. Sushi was food, food made me hungry, food made me fat. Damn that man! It always came back to him. 

"Stop thinking about it," Mina advised from the other side of me. Creepy how the leader of the Senshi could read my mind. We were all camped out in front of the TV, still in our pajamas, having a typical lazy morning. I was still wondering why Luna was there but she gave off a dignified silence, whiskers in the air and tail arched, when I asked her- came to the conclusion I _really _didn't want to know. 

It was at the fifth commercial when Mina rolled up from where she was drooling over the end of the couch. "Do you get the feeling we're missing something?" she asked. 

"Um, no," I replied, staring at the television and intently ignoring the sudden pit-less feeling my stomach now had. Now that she had mentioned it…. And as with all good eerie coincidences, the phone rang in the awkward silence. 

"You get it," I said quickly. There really wasn't a need to since Mina was diving for the phone anyway. Luna sniffed. 

"Hello?" Mina answered, cradling the phone in both hands. _Ah ha! _I thought. _She thought it might be Sugar Daddy Mr. Wonderful_. Meet Tsukino, Serena Tsukino- Master Detective. 

"Oh, hey Rei," Mina's face twisted into a pout. Mine would too, getting a call from Rei. Who wants to talk to her anyway? I'm just kidding…maybe…not. Didn't anyone but me recognize how silly those stupid bridesmaids dresses would look on us? Do we want to look like tramps? Sometimes it's so hard being the only girl that's sane in our group! 

"We're _what_? No _way_, Serena and I would _never_ forget something that important! Huh? Oh… um, I guess I did forget." I watched beads of sweat form on Mina's forehead. Rei could be pretty descriptive during her violent temper tantrums. "Er… maybe in a half an hour. Why? Why do you think, you maniac? I want to stay alive! Get Lita to take you out for… coffee, yea, coffee. Don't worry, we'll meet you there at one." 

"What was that about?" I mumbled to Mina. Luna swatted me on the head with one of her paws.

"Ouch!"

"What do you think, Meatball Head? You were supposed to meet Lita, Ami, and Rei at the dress shop half an hour ago!" Luna snapped.

"Hey- you _knew_?!" Mina accused. 

"It's not my fault you can't remember your commitments," Luna growled. "Besides, I wanted to see the rest of Crimson Moon."

"I cannot believe this is my life!" I cried.

"I get the shower first," Mina called. Luna screeched and tried to strangle me as I dove for Mina's ankles. Her cackling through the wooden door as the shower was turned on. This was not fair, it was my house so I should get the shower first. Okay, Mina's never staying at my house again!

"We're late," Mina moaned, twisting a lock of golden hair nervously around her finger. "Rei is going to kill me! Why did you take so long getting ready anyway?"

"Well if you had let me have the shower first I would have had more time to dry my hair in the first place," I griped. I conveniently neglected to mention that I'd had trouble finding something to wear that fit. At the time, I was wearing a pair of loose gray flannel pants and a ribbed white tank top that was quite stretchy. Maybe Darien had been right and I was gaining a little bit of weight… after considering what I'd just thought, I decided no way. By the mere fact that I'd be agreeing with Darien made that statement wrong in so many ways. So perhaps I shouldn't have had more pastries at that Bistro etc but that didn't mean I was getting chubby or anything!

"Thank goodness you two finally made it," Ami sighed in relief, rushing at us as soon as we entered the private room. "Lita has pumped Rei full of soothing herbal teas and stuff but I don't know if it's working or not!"

"Hello Serena," Rei suddenly said, sipping a mega-sized plastic cup of jasmine infused tea. Her eyes narrowed. "Mina."

"Heh heh, hi Rei," Mina laughed, her eyes darting wildly. 

"So where are the gowns?" I interrupted quickly since the Pyro's red manicured nails were beginning to make dents in her mega-sized mug. 

"Yours is the one on top," Rei ground out through gritted teeth. 

"Okay," I paused. "I guess I'll just try my on, shall I?" I slipped it off the hanger and retreated into the corner to try it on.

"I can't believe you were late," Rei was griping to Mina. "God, can't I count on my friends for a minute at least? Come on!" Then to everyone's horror, Rei started to sniffle. 

"What's wrong sweetie?" Lita exclaimed, hurrying to throw her arms around Rei. 

"Y-you're all against me!" Rei bawled. "It's like you're trying to sabotage my wedding or something! I know I'm not the nicest person all the time but you could at least try to be happy for me. And Jake's family hates me!"

"Honey, now you know that's not true," Mina protested. 

"Yes it is," Rei sobbed. "His parent's think he can do better than me and Berry says I'm a- a…"

"A what?"

"A whore!" Rei's wails escalated.

"Talk about calling the kettle black," Ami muttered. She cast her eyes around the room searching for a distraction. I gulped when her blue eyes landed on me. "Serena! How does your dress fit?"

"Oh…uh, it's a little too tight," I complained, turning around and tugging at the bodice of the red dress. 

"Don't tell me your measurements changed in two weeks," Rei glowered, troubles with Mina and sobs forgotten. "This can't be happening to me!"

"Well it's not my fault!" I snapped. "I don't know what happened. Maybe we just mixed the dresses up or something." My shoes hurt too. These were a pair of my favorite stilettos but they seemed too tight also. What was wrong with me? It felt like I was in some twisted wonderland. 

"My dress is right," Ami said, kneeling gracefully on the floor. Mina and Lita agreed with her. 

"That just leaves you, Meatballs," Rei flipped her hair over her shoulder and frowned. I blushed from the scrutiny that I was undergoing. 

"No offense but I think you really have gained a little weight," Lita said, her green eyes widening. Ami tucked blue curls behind her ears and pursed her lips. 

"Serena, have you ever been checked to see if you and Darien... I mean," she blushed, "to see if you two made a baby or anything?"

"Wha-" my jaw dropped. "You have to be kidding me."

"It's not like you were going to remember protection when you didn't know what you were doing," Mina tried to console me.

"Thanks but it doesn't matter," I said. "Because I'm definitely not pregnant."

"There's only one way to find out," Lita grinned.

__

Ten minutes later I was standing an aisle away from the check-out and the gas station.

"I can't believe they sell pregnancy tests at gas stations," I groaned, my face a permanent red.

"I can't believe they sell any of this stuff," Mina gaped. "Look at that! Dish detergent? Mouth wash? What kind of establishment is this?" Lita rolled her eyes.

"Ami and Rei are still waiting at the bridal shop. Can we hurry it up you two?" she groaned. "It's not like you've never been inside a gas station before."

"Actually...." Mina began. God, models really don't get out much.

"But Lita," I whined. "I can't take this up there! That kid at the cash register? I used to baby-sit him! This is so embarrassing." I rubbed my sweaty palms against my thighs. Sure, somewhere in the back of my head, I knew that there was a possibility that something could have happened between Darien and I. But the idea was just so far fetched. It's like those scare-till-you-don't-dare-because-we-care commercials where people talk about how they never thought it would happen to them and then it did. Oh my god, I couldn't believe this was happening to me! If they ever want someone else to go on those commercials, they've got the poster child for it right here. 

****

Blurb: I just had to write a note for _Rena _about the food obsessive thing- I have to admit, a love of food is something Serena and I have in common. Hmm… not so sure it's a good thing either, ~_* It could have been being incredibly beautiful… or having a gorgeous soul mate… or being a PRINCESS… but no, we both like food. 

I also want to extend apologies for this very blatant plot twist. It was the way I was going to do it originally and then I was like- way too over used. So I tried to ignore it but it kept popping back into my head as the best way for Serena and Darien's relationship to advance. Blech. Sorry Sorry Sorry. 

*** If anyone was wondering or had forgotten, _Crimson Moon_ was the soap that Luna had been originally watching in chapter three. Is it bad if you have to go back to double check stuff when you were the one who wrote it? God I hope not!


	7. Rainbow

****

A Simple Magic 

__

Chapter Seven: Rainbow

I jiggled my knees impatiently, goose bumps crawling across my arms the longer I waited. Luna growled her disapproval as she was jostled in my lap- even though the lazy cat was sleeping. 

"Don't worry so much," Mina said softly, handing me a small carton of chocolate ice cream and a spoon. She made a warm, comforting presence as she sat down next to me. "The results will be the same whether or not you crawl up the wall with anxiety."

"I think I have a right to be nervous," I protested, clawing off the lid of the ice cream. "There's a pretty good chance I'm going to have a baby. What if I'm a bad mother? What if I'm not ready? I've always wanted to have ten little babies but I never pictured being a single mom. And imagine when I have to break the news to Darien! What am I going to say? He'll go insane but he'll naturally pay child support since he's so noble," I sighed and a little bit of salty liquid mixed with my ice cream. "What's going to happen to me?"

"First of all, I think I know Darien well enough to say he's never going to let you out of his sight once he realizes you're pregnant with his baby."

"Control freak," I muttered. 

"Secondly," Mina interrupted my muttering. "He won't abandon you, Sere. Children are important to him." The small phrase 'pedophile' drifted into my mind. Then I grimaced. I was really getting desperate to hate Darien if I was starting to associate him with that term. Even I knew Darien would hurl himself of a cliff rather than do what that implied. 

"He's an orphan, did you know that?" Mina asked. "There's like zero chance he'll even settle for just paying child support. Nope! He's absotively, posilutely going to be in your life for good now." 

"Question is whether that is something I want." I placed a spoonful of the _Chocolate Fudge, Chocolate Brownie, Chocolate Extravaganza_ into my mouth. The clock on the microwave began to beep. It was time to check. 

"I don't know if I can look," I moaned, shoving a hand over my eyes. "My stomach hurts too much."

"I'll check for you then," Mina offered. "Just don't expect me to touch it. After all, you're my friend but I don't want to touch something you peed on."

"Oh, thanks." I peeked through my fingers and toppled Luna unceremoniously from my lap. "Now that I reconsider the matter, I think I want to check too. What color is it if I'm going to have a baby?"

"Pink," Mina said decisively. "Wait- maybe blue. Or aqua? No, no, I'm positive it's pink."

"Let me know when you make a decision," I grumbled, scurrying for the bathroom. The small strip was by the sink. _Okay, just remain calm, _I repeated to myself. Oh my god, there was definitely a pink color on that thing. Little black dots swarmed in my vision and I gripped the sink tightly for a moment until my head settled. _Just breath, Serena. In and out, in and out. _Uh oh, that sounded eerily reminiscent of what you were told to do during the birthing process. It was like I was giving birth already! 

Mina had crept up behind me and I felt her smack me gently on the arm. "Snap out of it sweetie!" 

"I'm out of it, I'm out of it!" I cried breathlessly and returned my gaze to the test. Yes there was pink. I squinted. Was that yellow? And orange? _Aqua? _

"WHAT KIND OF GIP TEST IS THIS ANYWAY?" I screamed. A black furred body came hurtling into the bathroom. I stumbled backwards as Luna's claws landed in the fabric of my shirt and she climbed up to stare nose to nose with me. 

"Is it done? Are you pregnant? Stop shrieking Meatball Head!" Luna screamed, just as loudly as I was wailing. You wouldn't think that's possible considering I have a larger lung span but apparently it was. We continued screaming at each other until there was no more air left and I collapsed into the bathtub. Mina cautiously moved her hands off of her ears and sat down on the covered toilet. 

"Are you done yet?" she demanded. "You two could have burst my eardrums, stupids!"

"No!" snapped Luna. Her whiskers tickled my face. "Well, what were the results? Are you pregnant? If you are, never scream again- it could upset the baby, Meatballs!" 

I glared at my cat. "Like I was the only person blowing a fuse, Luna! And I don't know if I'm pregnant!"

"You don't know-" Luna gaped. Then she pounced to where the test was innocently placed. "I'm so glad I'm not a dog, color blinded idiots. Can you believe what I have to put up with around here?" I smirked as she pawed around with the strip and looked at it from every angle. 

"So oh brilliant feline, am I pregnant?" Luna's purple eyes narrowed at me. 

"Fine. I don't know, are you happy now? Silly little spasmodic chit. So ungrateful." Luna stalked back to the living room with her tail erect, reduced to furious little complaints. I climbed stiffly out of the tub. Just how exactly was I supposed to find out if I was pregnant if the regular stuff didn't work? At least I know I hadn't had any alcohol since the last time Darien and I… were forced into a mating spree by a demonic crystal. Waking up with a hangover in his flat was not the most enjoyable experience ever, that much was for sure.

"Ami's with a patient right now, may I take a message?" Ami's receptionist stated in a bored sort of tone. I could just see her casually flipping through a fashion magazine instead of listening to me as she should be. I shifted the phone to my other ear. 

"Um, yes. Could you tell her that Serena called and that it's an emergency? A _big _emergency," I stressed. 

"Sure," there was a shady sort of sound like she was popping a bubble of gum. Is that even legal? Don't they have certain sanitary and hygienic rules in doctors offices? I think Ami should fire this creep. 

"Are you even writing this down?" I asked suspiciously. 

"Of course I am, lady," she replied. Oh right, _sure_. I could completely envision her examining her new manicure. Good help must really be hard to come by if my friend had resorted to hiring this inept weirdo. She was hardly professional. Thank god I had Molly.

"_Right_," I drawled. "I'll just call Ami later today to make sure she got the memo. I hope she does." So it sounded almost like a threat. It was a half-threat at most, though. Come on, I was calling on a matter of dire importance here! This stinking receptionist should at least be taking notes!

"Memos get lost pretty easily around here," she stated and then she hung up. HUNG UP! I growled as the dial tone reverberated in my ear. 

"Serena, are you okay?" Molly asked as she entered my office. "You seem kind of antsy. My baby Cora went through a phase just like it right before she got sick." Wow, hold up a bit. There was no way on God's green earth that I was like that little bratty, snot nosed kid. I think I've mentioned before how evil Molly's children are even though Molly herself is wonderful. Don't get me wrong, I love kids! The first time I met Cora, I gave her a teddy bear. She bit my nose. 

"I'm fine," I snapped. "Just craving some steamed carrots." As soon as that was out of my mouth, I choked. Right, you're thinking _carrots_? Is she _crazy_? Well me too because I hate carrots, despise them, _loath _them with a passion. Who really likes carrots? Only homicidal maniacs! Not only this but I want steamed carrots. The ultimate in gross carrots. Who wants something like that's all limp and mushy? Ew! And I can't believe I just thought 'limp' either. This 'pregnancy' must really be getting to me.

"Okay?" Molly said with raised eyebrows. Obviously she must have been thinking the same thing as me: I'm going mad. 

"Yes- okay, great, wonderful! Oh, are those the new photos from the shoot? Thanks Molly, that'll be all." Score one for Serena for successfully maneuvering nosy secretary out the door. I opened the folder situated in my hand. I might as well start working now since Ami will no doubt never get my message from her incompetent receptionist. Three hours later, I pushed away from my desk and rubbed my glazed eyes. There was a slight aching just behind them. I really hoped it meant I was just tired and didn't need glasses. So much money… I'd break them within a day… they just weren't worth the trouble. Anyway, my back was sore, my feet were killing me, and I _still_ had an unmistakable craving for carrots. I think I needed some help!

I reached automatically for the crystal that used to hang around my neck. Naturally, it wasn't there having been broken into tiny little shards the day my life was ruined. I missed my crystal. I had never realized how much it had become a part of me even when broken. But now that it wasn't there…it was like getting ice cream but not the chocolate syrup and cherry. Something was missing. Somehow I wasn't sure if what was missing was actually the crystal… or maybe I actually LIKED waking up next to Darien. I mean 'Shields'. No, I mean Darien. This mental monologue is getting so pathetic it's disgusting. I must be drinking too much caffeine or something to even contemplate that! Darien drank coffee with caffeine when I first met him….

This was getting to the point that my neediness was quite sick. It had to have something to do with the thought of 'pregnancy'. Right, clearly it was playing havoc with my mind. I mean, who has cravings for carrots? And what was with this being tired all the time? Ballooning feet? Give me a break! Maybe it had something to do with Luna's attack on my head when I told her about my shattered crystal. The scar _still_ hadn't healed. That kitty has some sharp little pointy things on her paws! Because, as proven by the rainbows on the pregnancy strip, I-was-not-pregnant. 

I think I needed a really long appointment with my very good friend, ol' Dr. Ami. Icky carrots, headachy eyes, what's next? Loving Darien?!

"Hello Serena," my _very good _friend said from the table at the café we were meeting at. Ami's small, slim body was looking elegant as usual in a white straw hat with a floppy brim and a nicely tailored summer dress. Her short-cropped blue hair was curling just below her earlobes, no signs of split ends or limp locks in sight. It made me mad just thinking about it, especially as I was sweating like some grungy and incredibly gross person in my lazy-day clothes. They consisted of a white tank top with a ketchup stain, an equally stained sweatshirt zipped up on top, my pink pants, and ancient flip flops. I looked a mess. In fact, this whole March thaw was a regular mess. Just last week it was like the arctic and now everyone was breaking out the summer clothes and tight tops and my waistline had grown practically ten inches. As if I could wear tight tops or shorts! Why thank _you_ Ami for being perfect as usual. 

"Hi Ami," I greeted grumpily before plopping down on the chair in front of her. I received some very ill-mannered glances from the people around us and I glared back. I was not that interesting! Why did these people persist in looking at me?

"I hope this is something really important because I cancelled a meeting just for you," Ami added, folding her menu back up and placing it on the rack. She folded her hands and waited for the waiter politely. 

"Well duh, of course it's important," I snapped huffily. "Um- how's the practice?" 

"Good. That better not have been what you wanted to talk about though. You said it was an emergency!" 

Sheesh, since when was it such a crime to call your friend and ask her out to lunch? 'Scuze me if I didn't see what all the fuss was about. I'd much rather go out to eat than spend the day with lousy patients thank you very much. She hadn't minded too much at that emergency meeting. 

"Yeah…," I answered, trying desperately not to look shifty. 

"Well if you're not going to answer me!" Ami said briskly. She unfolded a pair of spectacles and jammed them on her nose. "You've grown!" It was pretty unmistakable that she was referring to my suddenly projecting stomach. 

"Thanks," I glared at her. 

"So I take it the pregnancy test came out as a yes?" Ami stampeded right along. "However, I don't understand how you've come to such an advanced stage so quickly. You only had a little stomach before and now it's… well, I mean it's THERE!"

Ami- ever the tactful one. I was going to have to revise my opinion of her so called 'tact'. Thankfully, the waiter arrived just then and there was a flurry of orders being taken, mine mostly. When we were finished, Ami was giving me a strange look as I reached for my water glass. 

"What?" I asked, pausing in mid-sip. Unfortunately, this caused a little bit of water to spray out and I hastily wiped it off of my chin. 

"You just ordered extra carrots," she managed faintly. 

'Blood-sucking-I-want-to-eat-you-now-so-SHUT-UP scowl' could not begin to describe the look I gave Ami. "Will everyone just stop talking about my eating habits now?" 

"Sorry," Ami reached for her own water. "So what was it that you really wanted to talk about?"

"Well, originally I wasn't sure if I really was pregnant," I sighed. "The test Lita, Mina, and I picked up at the gas station didn't work. It was supposed to turn pink if I was pregnant and not do anything if I wasn't but it turned RAINBOW!"

"Rainbow?" Ami frowned. "Perhaps it has something to do with your blood type. I was always pretty sure that our blood had different properties than everyone else since we are Senshi but maybe this time I'll have proof!" She stopped. "What's that on your forehead?"

Only the still-healing mark from where my deranged cat tried to take me out two months ago. Actually, it was more like Luna tried to claw my brains out which is pretty peculiar consider the psycho was positive I had none. It was still an embarrassing event. Figures Ami would bring it up at a time like this. Why not bring out every skeleton Serena has in the closet? I must have missed the Humiliate Serena Day notice. 

"I don't want to discuss it," I sniffed. 

"Okay," Ami replied. "If you want, I can still take some other tests to see if you're really pregnant."

Of course I wasn't pregnant, I bloom like this naturally. Duh, I think everyone had realized there was SOMETHING in me by now!! You know, all those times I sat dreaming about the many, many children I would have when I was older, never once did I consider all the work that was involved. Soon I wouldn't even be able to get out of my chair….

"Sure Ami," I said. "Whatever you say."

"Good, now that that's settled," she picked up her fork and prepared to eat. I looked down at the plate in front of me. Caramelized onions with steamed carrots (extra carrots!) in a soy sauce. What the hell had I been thinking?

"Eeeew!"

Ami's blue head was ducked over the papers that she kept shuffling over and over again. For the past ten minutes she had been muttering 'rainbows' and 'unbelievable' repeatedly under her breath. Was this a good sign? Sure, I didn't _always _believe in omens but… I'm just an _teensy weensy _bit panicky. And if something was going to start effecting MY baby I was going to start to get violent. No one messes with the Princess's kid. 

I was going to make such a great mom. 

I finally succumbed to temptation. "Ami are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to use force?"

"Huh?" Ami blinked. Then she looked down at her papers again. "Oh, um, nothing." Tactful…articulate… those were just two descriptive words that had been used to describe my friend. Too bad they were just a load of crap. 

"I'm not an idiot," I snapped. "What's wrong?"

"Well that's just it," she paused and cocked her head. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"YES!!" My hands itched to wring Ami's neck for delaying so long. Wow, screwy hormones can really make me excessively violent. Technically, Rei would say I had always been moody, temperamental, and violent before but it isn't as if Pyro is exactly a missionary of peace either. 

Ami's hands fluttered like she itched to return to shuffling papers again. "It's like this, Meatball Head," I gritted my teeth at the horrible nickname. Rei and Darien -SHIELDS- were corrupting the innocent one! "There is this anomaly that I'm afraid I don't understand. According to my tests and my old computer I dug out, you are…well, you're five months pregnant."

"WHAT?" I exploded. Then I broke off in nervous laughter. "No offense, Ami, but all your stuff must be broken because it hasn't been five months since the first time the 'Thing' happened with Darien. I mean Shields. I mean, you know, _him._"

"I know, I know," Ami twitched. "It doesn't make sense especially since I know you weren't sexually active before the Incident."

Oh great, make me sound like some repellent prude. Or a laboratory rat. "Sexually active"- isn't there some better scientific way to describe it? 

"So your equipment is faulty. Don't feel bad, it happens to everyone," I said patting her shoulder. Except that could have been taken as a sexual innuendo. Oh god, my mind was becoming sick! Damn you my hyperactive imagination, damn you!

"They aren't," she replied quietly. "The only conclusion that I can draw from this situation is that some magical property in your blood is acting as a catalyst for the fetus. I'm positive that there is an outside element effecting the development of the baby too. And," she added, "let's not forget that this all happening because of your crystal's magic. Perhaps that is what the catalyst is."

"Okay," I attempted to digest this calmly and rationally. "Let's go along with this little hypothesis. Say I really was five months pregnant - just normally. Wouldn't I be a little bit bigger? Because that would mean I'm in the second trimester, right?"

"Yes. I'm not much of a baby doctor but I'm sure your size is fine," Ami said. 

"Right," I swallowed. "So now we add in the 'outside influence' factor. The crystal is broken, are you saying that it actually has enough power to maneuver this operation even in its damaged state?"

"I can't know for sure," she admitted. "Yes, yes, I think it is very possible that the crystal has enough power to do this."

"Okay," breath in, breath out. "So I'm five months pregnant?"

"Yes."

Pretty much about there I fell into a dead faint. It's one thing to know you are having a baby in nine months, it's another thing to realize you could have your baby at any time. How the hell was I supposed to know when I was going to give birth so I could be prepared? It could happen in five minutes or five days! I wasn't ready for this emotional trauma! Besides, now Darien is never going to believe that it's his baby. Oh my god, what will he say when I try to tell him? I'm going to have to explain it somehow! Am I supposed to say, 'hey Dare, I know I'm a klutz and we've had a pretty good hate relationship for the past billion years but I'm pregnant with your child. Oh yeah, and this baby is going to be born pretty soon because my secret alter-ego is Sailor Moon and there's something in my blood that's speeding up the pregnancy'?

Yeah, that one's going to go over _real _smooth. 

****

Author's Note: Yeah it's short, that's bad, but I thought it would be good to have an update only about a week after I last updated. It would make me feel so proud, lol. And then there were more references to food- I just can't get away from it! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! I'd add more but I have an English assignment that I've been putting off that's due tomorrow… ah well, you can't have everything!


	8. Sunrise Surprise

Sorry, sorry, sorry for the wait.** I just wanted to give out a huge hug to everyone who has reviewed! I can't believe this story actually made it to 200+ I'm so glad you all are enjoying That Simple Magic. So a BIG thank-you to all! And also, thanks for all the wonderful understanding and support I received! You guys rock J **

This chapter was going to be longer but I wanted to get something up for everyone. You'll just have to see Serena's dad's reaction and the answer to a question next chapter! 

I also am trying to reload this because the format got screwed the first time. 

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**That Simple Magic**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

_Chapter Eight: __Sunrise__ Surprise_

Ten slabs of cement up, ten slabs of cement back, and a good deal of backache in between. At approximately nine thirty-eight in the morning, about twenty minutes after I had puked up today's breakfast, I was pacing- hobbling would be the more correct term- up and down in front of a rather disgruntled Rei. She had managed to step into the one puddle of slush left on the sidewalk while wearing her new sandals and I was the closest victim. 

"Would you go already?" Rei demanded, scraping her foot against a tree. "You're only delaying the inevitable."

"Well see how easy you find it, marching up to the worst enemy of your childhood and announcing that you are having his baby!" I snapped. My back was killing me and I was not in the mood to argue. So far I had managed to get halfway down the street to Darien's place and every time I ended up right back where I started; Rei was more than a little irritated. 

"Meatball Head, you goof!" she shouted. "I'm going to leave if you can't manage to get your butt up to that apartment in the next five minutes!" Hah! Like one of my best friends would really abandon me when I was in need!

Five minutes later, I was standing by myself on the sidewalk. So much for best friends. "Stupid Rei," I muttered to myself, ignoring the odd looks I was getting from the other pedestrians. I narrowed my eyes at one suspicious looking young woman. She walked by me, unconcerned, swinging what looked to be an expensive leather briefcase. Young, healthy, slim, beautiful, obviously wealthy… I loathed her. She was the type my fellow procreator would go for. Oh, how I loathed him. I threw my head up to the skies.

"HE'S THE LAST MAN ON EARTH I'D WANT TO PROCREATE WITH," I wailed. "Why does this stuff always happen to me?!"

Suddenly I found that I was being given a wide berth, in the middle of an empty piece of sidewalk, two feet in radius. I sniffed. As _if I wanted to have anything to do with them anyway. They were all trouble, especially men. With these thoughts in mind, I suddenly clapped a hand over my mouth and darted to the nearby trash bin with surprising agility. _

Funny, I could have sworn I'd already spewed up the entire contents of my stomach earlier this morning. 

"Rabbitface?" someone exclaimed in shock. Grasping the edge of the bin, I weakly looked towards the familiar voice.

"Ahhh!" I stumbled backwards. I squeezed my eyes shut, "You're not here, go away. You're not here go away. You're not here, go aw…"

"… What the heck happened to you?" my younger brother demanded in disbelief. 

"I do not want to discuss this," I managed with dignity. Oh god, I can't believe _Sammy_ was the one to find me vomiting on the side of the street. How could this possibly be anymore embarrassing?

"No offense, Rabbitface, but you look a lot different then you did the last time you had dinner with Mom and Dad," Sammy declared.

"I'm pregnant, dummy!" I yelled, giving him a whack on the head for effect. "Now be a good bro and take me to a nice place to sit down and buy me a drink." I scrubbed the back of my hand against my mouth, wincing at the acrid taste that was inside. Phlech! Gross. 

"Oh man," Sammy's jaw dropped and his eyes bulged out of their sockets. "Have you told Mom and Dad yet? I bet Dad totally flipped, didn't he?!"

"Of course I haven't told them yet, stupid." Did I want to be locked in a nunnery for the rest of my life? No way, therefore Dad was never going to know. 

"Well when you do, make sure I'm there, okay?" Sammy pouted. "Please?"

"Fine," I growled. Younger siblings are such a pain. You would have thought that Sammy would have grown out of this annoying-Serena faze by now. Sammy frowned at me then abruptly started walking off in the other direction. 

"Hey- wait a second!" I called, beginning to lumber after him. "Aren't you supposed to have questions and stuff?"

"You remember Health in school?" Sammy grinned. "I had that class too so I know how babies are made." He choked and his face began to turn blue. "That means- oh gross, nasty thoughts! I can't believe anyone would do _that_ with my _sister!"_

"Shut up, dork." What a wise-cracking little twerp. It wasn't like I was completely despicable, I tell you. On the other hand, if you combined his face with mine we would make a _lovely_ shade of purple! "Now you are going take your lovely sister out for tea and be nice to me because I've had a very stressful day and you aren't going to mention _anything_ I might find distressing."

"You find gum on the sidewalk distressing." Sammy rolled his eyes as he trudged back towards me. Yes, I knew my adorable face would come in handy soon! 

"Thank you," I replied primly as he offered his arm. I figured that ignoring his last comment was the most dignified way to go. 

We actually had a very nice time together, probably because we were both on our best behaviors. I sipped my tea like a lady and the foul taste in my mouth eventually disappeared; better yet- never once did I feel the urge to hurl the teacup at my younger sibling's unsuspecting head. That, I feel, was a true accomplishment because generally speaking, I never get out of an encounter with my brother without at least throwing something. 

And then I found myself back in the situation that I was in this morning: at Darien's place. Even though I was the Queen of Procrastinating, I still managed to end up right back where I had started. At least I had managed to enter the building this time. 

I found myself just staring at the door. Half of me wished that he would open it and walk out suddenly, forcing me into discourse. The other half of me was screaming 'run, run, as fast you can, you can't catch me because I'm Sailor Moon, man!' Okay, so maybe it wasn't my best song ever but under the circumstances I think it was pretty good. 

"Are you looking for Darien?" a woman inquired, walking down the hall with a newspaper folded under one arm. She was slender with tilted lavender eyes and raven curls tumbling down her back. My eye twitched. Who was this woman? She was far too similar to my image of his model girlfriend to make me feel comfortable. 

"Um, yes, actually," I mumbled, perspiration breaking out on my flushed forehead. Watch her be his girlfriend that he neglected to tell me about! One of these days I was going to strangle that man and he would completely deserve it too. "Is he not home?"****

"He left about half an hour ago with Andrew." She smiled, baring sparkling white teeth suitable for toothpaste commercial. Whoa! Now she was definitely treading on my territory to be discussing Andrew and Darien in such familiar terms. 

"Do you have any idea when he will be back?" I was grinding my teeth and my nails were digging into the fleshy bits of my palm but I don't think it would have been a good omen to suddenly attack her for no reason. I was being entirely irrational and it felt very nice. 

"No, I'm sorry." Why did she have to be so damn courteous? Couldn't she be just a little bit rude to give me the excuse to release some anger? She continued down the hall, apparently unaware of the lethal stare I was sending after her. Now, if my princess-powers actually worked like they were supposed, she would be a pile of ashes right now. Unfortunately, my Ultra-Venomous-Don't-Screw-With-Me Death Glare must have been malfunctioning because she hadn't burst into flame. I suppose that was more Rei's field anyway.  

I had returned to staring at Darien's door, wishing desperately that he come home, as Miss Perfect fumbled with her keys. I had to stop lashing out at every decent looking young female who was not in my predicament. It wasn't as if it was their fault I looked like a beach ball, no it was that damn dirty _crystal's_ fault and, of course, Darien's! It's not like I could have gotten pregnant here myself, people! It takes two to do that vertical tango! 

Yes, I was a complete mental mess and I'm not afraid to admit it. 

"Hey…." My eyes slid sideways to regard Miss Perfect. She had somehow managed to return to my side without me even noticing. 

"Hi," I concentrated on making my greeting sound friendly this time. It came out rather gruff all the same. 

"Would you like to come back to my place for some coffee while you wait?" The invitation would have been appreciated more if the sudden thought of coffee hadn't made the bile rise in my throat. My face went hot and cold at the same time. 

"Thank you very much for the offer," was my gracious reply after I had managed to choke the bile back down. Ew. "However, I think I should be getting home now since I've been out all day." Unconsciously my hand drifted towards my stomach as it had taken to doing lately. Sometimes I thought I could feel my baby's heartbeat if I was relaxed enough.

Surprisingly, Miss Perfect's gaze followed my hand wistfully. "What's it like?" she asked curiously. "Being pregnant, I mean."

"It's the best and worst experience of my life," I said honestly. "I love her already, though." Not that I knew she was really a she, per se. Call it a motherly instinct.

"Oh," Miss Perfect sighed. "I've always wanted lots of children."

"Me too," I answered, sharing my first genuine smile of the day. "Me too."

"Good afternoon, Mina," I virtually floated into my apartment, dancing over to the kitchen with a gracefulness that should have been shocking. I rummaged through my freezer with a buffoonish grin plastered on my face, and reentered the living room waving a spoon in one hand and a quart of ice cream in the other. "Wonderful day today, wasn't it?"

"Well you're in a happy mood," Mina commented from where she was lounging on the couch. She held a gossip magazine listlessly in her hands. I idly noticed that the front page was a mammoth close-up of a white-haired man. Since when had the press taken to following around old geezers? 

"Yep!" I agreed, slurping down half melted ice cream. Luna glanced up from her perch on top of the television. I don't know why my cat seemed to be constantly in my home these days seeing as she supposedly lived with my parents. 

"So I take it that Darien took the news well?" she asked, pausing as she washed her face. 

"Um," the ice cream slipped in my grip and I hurried to catch it. "Actually, he wasn't home today."

"I can't believe you haven't even told him yet!" Mina shrieked and Luna eyed me with disapproval.  

"What are you going to do- wait until your water has broken and call him from the hospital?" the feline taunted. "In case you've forgotten, Lunar girl, there is no way to chart your pregnancy. You could have your baby tonight!"

"I hardly think that's going to happen," I sniffed, settling down on the ottoman. "Besides, I don't see how it's my fault that he wasn't home." Luna growled and leapt from the television. She stalked to the opposite side of the room with her back arched and tail lashing before turning to stare at me. I determinedly turned my back on her despite the fact that her continued attention made for an itchy spot right between my shoulder blades.

"You have to tell him sooner or later," Mina groaned. "You're barely even trying. Have you called his house and left a message?" 

"Nooo." so I hadn't thought of that- sue me, why don't you! I'm pretty sure this isn't the information you tell over the phone. Mina rolled her eyes and allowed herself to flop off of the couch before moving towards the portable phone. Her fingertips had just begun to brush the handheld device when it let out a piercing ring. Mina jumped and knocked over the stand, sending the phone crashing to the floor. She sent a disgruntled look over her shoulder at me (oh please, as if it were my fault) and crawled around on the floor. 

"Hello?" she demanded breathlessly, scrambling back to her feet. She froze and a slow smile spread across her face. "Hey darling," she cooed. Oh yuck, gag me. Does she have to go all mushy in my living room? Being as intuitive as the leader of my protectors should be, Mina gave me a dreamy smile and drifted into her room, closing the door behind her. Well, fine by me, like I wanted to listen to her gooey conversation anyway. I settled back in my seat and scooped ice cream into my drooling mouth. Oh-wait- brain freeze! Eh!

"You!" Luna stabbed a paw in my direction. "You are telling that Darien about the baby tomorrow!"

"Um, heh heh, right," I trailed off, trying to take no notice of the headache coming on. "Ouch," I doubled over my stomach, hissing. That little squirt in there just kicked me! The nerve of her, kicking her own mother! I'm going to give that child life and she repays me by kicking or punching me?

I bet we're going to have lots of problems when she is a teenager. 

"See, even your kid wants you to talk to her dad," Luna declared smugly. Have I ever mentioned how I hated smug people? Only _I am allowed to be smug and only __I am allowed to have double standards because _I_ am a __princess. _

I sneered and went into my room to sulk. 

Moving about restlessly in my bed, I impatiently waited for the sandman to come. 'I heard lavender is a good way to help you fall asleep when you are pregnant,' Lita had told me earlier that evening, when I had complained about lack of sleep during our phone call. 'There are also massages and stuff that your partner can do to help you relax.' She had snickered. 'I bet Darien wouldn't mind obliging.'

Yeah, of course he wouldn't mind- not. But I say, let's take things one thing at a time; for instance, I think that I should get around to telling him that he's going to be a parent before I expect us to perform any civilized activities together. 

So there I lay, inhaling enough lavender to make me sneeze occasionally and a good gallon of tea in my stomach that supposedly helped cramps. I should sue that company for raising my hopes, as it was I wished someone would just rip out my ovaries and save me the trouble. Flopping over created a lot of awkward moments in my life and I was glad that no one was there to witness it. I glared at the clock. 

It was the three a.m. wake-up call. Yippee!

And I hadn't even gone to sleep yet! "Damn it!" I cursed, resisting the urge to roll over onto my belly and burrow my head in my pillow. _Sorry, Sere, no-can-do anymore, I reminded myself. Well what was I going to do now? Mina would kill me if I tried to wake her up now- she had been so grumpy when she found out I hadn't had the guts to tell Darien the big news. I should probably get around to that soon…._

"I'll do it!" I suddenly announced to the quiet room, sitting bolt upright in bed. Guided by the blinking red light of my alarm, I fumbled for the phone. It took another few minutes for my mind to try and remember his phone number. "Nine-oh-one, wait, that's not right!" I grumbled to myself. "Nine-oh-three-double seven-oh-three! Yes, I'm brilliant!" I quickly dialed. 

"…iz tree in the morn," he slurred sleepily. "Better be good."

"Good _morning _Darien, darling!" I chirped. 

"Noo, gawd no!" Darien groaned desperately. "Meatballs, is that you?"

"The one and only, sweetheart!" I cooed. "I have something important to tell you."

"It'z gonna haff to wait," he replied drowsily. "I dunno if yur anal or what Meatballz but I need sleep."

"But Darien, this is very important!" Not to mention, this was the one time in my life that I had ever made am effort to continue a conversation with Darien. I was actually maturing! 

"Meet me in tha perk tumarra," he mumbled and then there was a click and a buzzing sound filled my ears. He did not just hang up on me, did he?! I was going to wring his neck! Here I am, trying to be friendly and share news that was going to have a major affect on both of our lives AND HE HANGS UP. I ground my teeth and c racked my knuckles: Darien Shields, you sure are going to get it tomorrow when I got my hands on you. 

After that, surprisingly enough, I managed to fall into a very restful sleep. It wasn't until morning that I realized he hadn't told me what time to meet him at. Men!

 "Darien! What a surprise it is to bump into you! Good to see you again," I lied through my teeth, grateful for the style of my coat being capable of disguising my rotund girth. 

"What you do for kicks, Meatball," Darien said, shaking his head. We were strolling through the park and from a distance it might have even looked as if we enjoyed each other's company. That is, if I hadn't been walking on one side of the path and Darien on the other. "Oh, and I think I forgot to thank you for calling me at three a.m. to arrange this heart to heart."

"That was you? You don't say," I would be a liar if I said I wasn't smirking at this point. "Not a problem; you are sincerely welcome." Darien definitely looked as if he had seen better days- there were purple shadows under his eyes, his shirt was wrinkled, and his hair was a mess (not to say that it wasn't always messed up anyway). Actually, it looked like he had been up since… say, three a.m.? -Insert evil cackle here- Darien was glowering at the stupid grin pasted on my face. 

"Just say what you want and let's get this over with," he growled. "You're starting to get annoying." Now I'd call that an improvement considering the state of our mutual affairs. When we first met, he found the mere sight of me annoying.  

"Well you remember that _thing _that sort of took place between us? The one we promised never to talk about ever again?" I babbled nervously. 

"The thing we promised to never talk about but now we are talking about? I may recall it," Darien admitted. The breeze ruffled his hair. "Don't tell me you're in love with me now. I mean, I know I'm irresistible and everything but I just don't see you like that. You're more of a…um…'friend.'"

And Mr. Egomaniac has made a triumphant return! Let the fanfare proceed! "Hah! Yeah, right! If I ever thought I was in love with you, I'd commit myself to an insane asylum," I snorted. Sure, my laughter edged on the verge of hysterical and we were attracting odd looks but really, what does that matter?

"Glad to hear it," Darien didn't even have the grace to blush. What a jerk. We continued walking together in an almost amiable way, probably because Darien was in a zombie-like state and I was too busy mumbling to myself to notice. Finally we paused in front of the pond. I watched a ducky go by with all of her little duckies. Aw, how cute! I smiled for a moment, gulped and Darien. 

"I want to show you something," I finally sighed. Yes, I had not better way to tell Darien than just springing it on him out of the blue by demonstrating the evidence. Sometimes I wonder if I'm truly evil but it's not like I could actually have the courage to come out right and tell him! Please, as it was the butterflies in my gut were making me dizzy. I grasped my coat and fumbled with the belt. 

"Meatball Head, it's illegal to strip in public," Darien smirked. "This _is_ a family park after all."

"No kidding, you pervert!" I shrieked, flushing indignantly. Did he actually think I was that depraved? Don't answer that, who knows what goes on in that man's dirty mind. "I'm not stripping!"

"If you say so," a glint in Darien's gorgeous… um, naturally I really mean ugly… blue eyes informed me that he still thought otherwise. What a sicko. Fixing a death glare on the creature, I slid out of my coat. 

Fwhoomp!

I glanced down, slightly nervous, at where he lay sprawled on the grass. He featured a dumbfounded look on his face; I wished I had a camera so I could preserve his expression forever. Hah! And people always thought I was the klutzy one!

"Darien, are you alright?" I asked, huffing slightly as I bent over to check on him. Alright, so I admit I was a little bit worried about him. But only because we were having a kid together and he couldn't just die of shock. Right…. Even my subconscious wasn't buying that one but the excuse would have to do for now. I waved my hand over his blank face. "Darien?"

"You, you look," he stammered, rapidly blinking his dazed eyes. 

"Radiant? Glowing? Spectacularly gorgeous?" I supplied helpfully. 

"Big," he sighed, pushing up from the ground and gesturing with his hands. Okay, so now he was too good to take any of my 'helpful' hints, was that it?

"Gee, thanks," I sniffled, waddling to the bench a few feet away. Jackass, bastard, there weren't even words to describe how awful he was. How is a girl supposed to look when she's pregnant, I ask you? It's not like I can keep a flat tummy when there is a brand new human being growing inside me. To think Lita actually claimed Darien was tactful!

I folded my arms under my breasts and blinked my eyes rapidly. In preparing myself for recounting the news, I had considered the fact that Darien might not take it so well. Did he have to take it so badly though? Wiping my suddenly runny nose on the edge of my sleeve, I stared through blurred eyes out at the mother duck and her little ducklings. I bet her co-creator didn't abandon her or call her FAT when she was pregnant. I bet SHE didn't have to worry about how she was going to tell her children that their dad didn't care. 

Life just… oh, life just sucks sometimes. 

A heavy arm draped itself across my shoulders and I was pulled over along the bench. Startled, I looked up into Darien's shimmering blue eyes. You know how some people say they can see stuff in each other's lives? Let me tell you, they must be lying because I couldn't see anything in Darien's eyes except for a little bit of a glitter and all I did was hope desperately that he couldn't see into my thoughts. 

That almost sounds like a contradiction. 

"Are you really pregnant?" he asked softly, close enough for our noses to brush against each other. "And is it really mine?"

"Of course it is, you fool," I snapped. I must have had something in my eye because they were very watery and I ducked my head so Darien couldn't see. "I'm not just some… some… some common slut who- hic- sleeps around." Great, so now I was hiccupping. Soon I really was going to start crying and then everything would go downhill from there.

"I know you're not, Meatball," Darien murmured in my ear and he pulled me closer. I hesitated before wrapping my arms around his middle and burrowing my nose in his shirt. He smelled of roses and something else. I'm fairly embarrassed to admit that I liked the way he smelled. I could feel his hands running through my tails of hair and he looped one around a hand, giving it a gentle tug. "I just have a couple questions."

"Shoot," I sighed and angled my head to see his face. Maybe it would have been too much to hope for but I wished that my eyes hadn't become too red and puffy from when I had… ahem… something in my eyes. 

"I guess it could just be me and all but it seems to me that you are more advanced than you should be."

"Oh- yeah, that would be the other thing I wanted to talk to you about," I pulled back suddenly and accidentally cracked my head against his jaw. 

"Do you always have to do that?" Darien winced, running a hand over his bruised jaw. 

"Shut it, creep," I moaned, rubbing the back of my head. I took a deep breath and scanned the park to make sure no one was close enough to overhear. I hadn't discussed telling this secret with the girls and Luna sure wasn't going to like it. All the same, Darien had to be told. "I- I, um," I began as furtively as possible. My eyes were on a never ending cycle, darting to all corners of the park. "I think the reason my pregnancy is going so quickly is because I'm-I'm," I stuttered.

"You're?" Darien tried helpfully. You know, he really isn't as bad as he seems from time to time. 

"I'mSailorMoon," I blurted out in a rush. If Darien's expression when I had shown him that I was pregnant was hysterical, this was one was even more so. He was stunned; I really craved my camera now. Darien shook himself and scowled at me.  

"Ha ha, very funny Meatball, want to run that one by me again?" he demanded. 

"I really am!" I cried. I can't believe he didn't buy it. It wasn't like we looked that differently! Even though there was that glamour that hid our identities… still, we did resemble each other after all!

"And I'm the king of England," Darien burst out laughing. "Oh, my silly Meatballs!"

"It's true!" I pouted. Who would have thought he wouldn't believe me? "Look buddy, I'd transform for you here and now to prove it but for one, we're in a crowded park," okay so maybe that was a lie, "and for another, the last time I changed, I realized that when I was transforming, I was without…," how to put it delicately, "clothes!" Besides, I wouldn't want to think about what it would be like transforming in a pregnant state anyway. 

Darien was staring at me intently, like he was trying to realign me with other memories. I fidgeted nervously; he must think I was on drugs or something. Without any warning, a wicked grin spread across his face. 

"So," he drawled. "You're Sailor Moon."

"Shush, not so loudly!" I hushed him frantically, tossing wild looks around the park. 

"Well Miss Sailor Moon," here his grin got even wider if that was possible, "did you ever have a crush on Mr. Tuxedo Mask?"

A blush crept across my cheeks. Not that it was any of your business, Mr. Nosy. I only pined for him for more than half of my life. "Maybe," I replied shiftily although the blood rushing to my face was most likely giving me away anyway. "Why?"

"Because, Miss Short Fuku," Darien mumbled, looking like he was going to burst, "I'm Tuxedo Mask." My mouth dropped and I gulped. No way- no way on earth was my hero… ooo, I can't even say it. Darien? Tuxedo Mask? How could it be? Tuxie was always so charming and mysterious and such a wonderful kisser. 

There I froze. Oh my god I had willingly kissed Darien! My arch-nemesis! And I actually thought he was a good kisser too!

"I kissed you!" I cried in astonishment. Darien had his smirk back on again. 

"You enjoyed it too, you little twerp," he snickered. I barely mastered the urge to smack him on the head. 

"I should kill you for that comment, you twit!" I yelled. "Wait a minute," I said suspiciously. "How do I know you're really Tuxie?"

I would prefer not to discuss his answer because he-he-

HE KISSED ME! He smooched me right in the middle of the park, smacked one right down on my unsuspecting lips. Only an hour before he had been talking about 'ooo it's a _family park' and now we were making out in it! More like ravishing each other as much as possible without actually doing the down and dirty. _

Okay, so if I'm completely truthful, I can't say I really struggled. At all. That is, until someone else decided to join in the fun. 

"Ow!" I slanted my mouth away and hid my flustered face in the crook of Darien's neck. Darien wore a face of bemusement before I grabbed his hand and placed it over my belly. I watched him through my eyelashes as he swallowed. My hand rubbed soothingly over his even though I flinched each time the baby kicked. Eventually she settled down and Darien's hand was simply grasped in mine. I attempted to smooth my rumpled dress over my large stomach as I leaned against his tall frame for support. 

"Well my little heroine," Darien said, beginning to laugh. "You kiss much better than you did when you were fourteen." I opened my mouth- how dare he say something like that, especially after we just had that moment together?!- when suddenly he paled. "I kissed you when you were fourteen! I'm-I'm"

"Sickening?" I suggested. You know Serena, always ready to lend a hand. Hey, wait a minute. Did I just say kissing me was sickening? Darien grimaced. "Don't worry, you sick old man, at least you didn't know what you were doing." Hah!

"Let's can the sideshow, Sere," Darien sighed. Wow! He just called me by my real name- not only that but my nickname. Maybe we were really getting somewhere after all. "We need to talk."

"What about?"

"I," he stumbled over his words, looking like a lost little boy. He was too cute to be true. "I want to be in our child's life as much as possible." He made eye contact suddenly and for an inexplicable reason, I wished that I could hug him. "Would you move in with me?"


	9. Friendly Fun

_ This chapter may seem a little confusing at the beginning but as it continues, I think everything will become clear. After about one and a half pages, the sudden time shift is made understandable. _

**That Simple Magic**

**Chapter Nine: "Friendly Fun"**

The sunlight sliding through the blinds and illuminating the dust particles floating in the room (wow, it must have been a long time since I had last dusted!) woke me up from where I was drooling on the pillow. Managing to barely maneuver around my buzzing fan, I stumbled through my bedroom door and squinted in the bright morning light. I let loose a wide yawn and blinked. Was it me or was-? What the-? What's going on here?!

"Good morning sweetie," Daddy said, walking out of the kitchen carrying a plastic shopping bag in one hand and a cup of strong coffee in the other. The smell caused my stomach to grumble irritably.

"Dad?" my rusty voice squeaked as I stared pop-eyed at him through a sea of moving boxes. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Dad's face began to turn a shade of tomato red that was a color usually only I sported. No need to wonder which side of the family THAT embarrassing habit came from. He gulped down one giant swig of coffee which was reminiscent of draining a tumbler of whiskey. "Your mother and I had a talk after your visit last night and your mom… I mean, we… decided that there was something we wanted to give to you to help prevent some… stuff." His face was so red it was almost purple now. 

A present? I could go for that! 

"They are for next time he and you- um, er, that is… when you, _you know_," there seemed to be a tic underneath Dad's eye that was convulsing at about 100 twitches per second. 

"Huh?" I said intelligently. 

"THIS!" he grabbed a large box out of the shopping bag and held up to the light. Chocolates? No, that certainly wasn't a chocolate box. With horror, I recognized the label from when Lita, Mina, and I went to pick up the pregnancy tests. 

"_CONDOMS," _I shrieked, the color draining from my face. "_You bought me CONDOMS?!"_ Oh no, this was not happening. I can't believe my… own… beloved… _Daddy bought me condoms!!!_

A door slammed open and a bleary Mina tripped over a box, racing to see what was going on. She pushed her face off of the floor and stared at us. "Serena-" she began until she saw what was grasped in my father's shaking hand. "Oh. My.-" and then she went off in peals of wild laughter, falling back onto the floor again in her amusement. Dad looked like he wanted to crawl up and die. Even though I was in the middle of a heart attack, I still managed to glare at Mina. 

"Will you _shut up_?!" I yelled. "It's not funny!" Mina paused to wipe the tears from her eyes. Then she caught another glimpse of The Box that Was Not Chocolates. After that, she began her cackling again, albeit a little more subdued. 

"It was your MOTHER's idea," Dad emphasized in fierce mutters. "Do you have any idea what it is like to buy condoms for your daughter? I told her it was a bad idea, but _oh no_, we _had_ to get 'protection' instead of letting me making sure that it would _never_ happen _again_ using a knife."

"Hey, I don't know what you're complaining about," Sammy announced, walking out of the kitchen holding a muffin with a dinosaur sized bite missing. "_I_ was the one who bought them; you wouldn't even get out of the car, just kept mumbling about your baby girl. I thought he was going to have a seizure," he added to me.

Let me get this straight- my baby _brother_ just bought condoms for me? This couldn't get any worse. It was bad enough when it was just Dad. I attempted to master my breathing as we hung around in awkward silence for a moment until there was a scratching at the window. 

"Luna!" I cried, rushing to the irritated cat sitting on the sill. My savior, my pal, my feline companion! I picked her up and planted a nice kiss on her furry little head. 

"I thought you said you were going to keep that window open from now on for me," Luna growled in my ear, flexing her claws against my shoulder. Oops. 

"Hey-ow!" I wailed, dropping the stupid kitty as the claw actually pierced the skin and drew a drop of blood. 

There was a thump on the apartment door and some muffled banging. A second later, the door opened (perhaps I should consider locking it!) and Darien stumbled in. "The elevator's broken, Meatballs," he announced as he juggled another stack of folded cardboard boxes in his hands. "Are you sure you don't want to- oh, good morning Mr. Tsukino."

 Dad's eye started twitching again vigorously.  "Is there something wrong with your eye, Daddy?" I asked. His knuckles turned white as he crushed the box of condoms in his grip. Darien must have nerves of steel to endure the death glare Dad was giving him now. Sammy began inching discreetly between the two in case my father suddenly lunged. Oh man. This was bad. 

Let's return to my foolish decision when I allowed Daddy to find out I was pregnant, agreed to live with my enemy, and lost my favorite shoes. Well, actually the shoes aren't really a big deal since I didn't fit in them any more. But the rest is important!

I swear Darien must have used some sort of mind trick to convince me to move in with him. Because obviously, I wouldn't have if I had been in my usual state! Common sense only dictates that. So how did I end up with Andrew, Darien, Sammy, and my Dad grunting down the stairs with box loads of my stuff? Well, the elevator was broken… no, really, I'll tell you. Actually the elevator was broken but aside from that…Okay here we go, just remember, you asked for it: 

_- Two Days Earlier: Still in the Park Suffering Through a Mental Breakdown -_

"Would you move in with me?"

My mouth worked helplessly up and down. Move in? With him? Could you run that by me one more time? "What?!"

"Would you quit looking like I just slapped you with an alligator," Darien said irritably. What kind of description is that? "I don't want to be the kind of dad that just sees his kid every other weekend. I want to be there to see it all, you know, first steps and everything."

So maybe Lita and Ami… and Rei and Mina had always tried to convince me that Darien wasn't all that bad but this had to be the first time he appeared to be behaving like a human. My eyes grew misty- I wanted to see my baby's first steps too!

"Well why don't you move in with me? I'm the one having a baby, why should I move?" Perhaps I didn't sound as gracious or as earnest as him but I still meant it. 

"It isn't like I could have just said 'hey Meatball, I'm going to live with you,'" he rolled his eyes. "Sometimes you really do act like you have meatballs for brains."

"I resent that," I retorted childishly. On the other hand, the man may have had a point. As I reconsidered the idea, I decided perhaps it would be beneficial for me to move in with him. After all, he had the big kitchen and all of the cool electronics (although I hadn't been overly fond of them when I accidentally set them off in the middle of my hangover). Not to mention, he had a gorgeous view from his balcony.  Now how to say that I had conveniently changed my mind?

"Actually," I began in a very posh and dignified tone- Darien restrained a snort-, "now that I think of it, I believe I should move in with you."

"Really?" Darien arched his eyebrows. He quirked those things at me far too often if I do say so myself. One of these days, I was going to take a razor, sneak into his bedroom, and shave them all off. Ha, take that you perpetually "sexy, quirky, amused" eyebrows! See what Darien looked like with _no_ eyebrows. That would take him down a notch or two. Just seeing the image in my head gave me the giggles. A snicker escaped my lips. 

"You okay there, Meatballs?" Darien smirked, arching those damn eyebrows even more. Think razor, Serena, think razor. 

"Fine, thank you for asking," I sniffed. Nincompoop. "Are you sure you want me to move in with you?" I can be polite when I want to; unfortunately, I never seem to "want" to around Darien. Funny how that works. 

"Sure," he grimaced. Well you didn't have to look that excited about the prospect! "I have another bedroom you can use. Only promise to stay away from sharp, pointy things."

Stay away fr… wait a minute! "WHAT KIND OF LUNATIC DO YOU THINK I AM?" I yelped, jabbing my fists into my hips. Darien's gaze slid away from mine for a moment. Sometimes I really wish there was a way I could strangle him and not be jailbait because of it. 

"Serena, you remember how you used to get mad at me for no particular reason?"

Oh I had reasons buddy! But just to preserve his feelings, I nodded cautiously. If he preferred to live believing he wasn't really a big pain, who was I to dissuade him? Besides, my throat was getting sore from all this yelling. I wondered if I could convince Darien to buy me a milkshake later. My stomach even approved of the idea. Anyway, back to Dare-bear. 

"Yes, ahem," he coughed. "And do you remember that time when you were… oh, about sixteen I guess…" -I could see where this one was going- "_and you attacked me with a butter knife in the Crown!_"

 "For the last time, I wasn't trying to cut your throat with a butter knife!" I shouted, neglecting my former plans for preserving my throat. Please, I was more sophisticated than that. I would have crept into the arcade late Sunday night wearing Sammy's old ski mask, when Andrew was out with Rita, and lined his coffee mug with poison. Not that I had ever really thought it out. It had just occurred to me a couple… oh all right, a hundred times. 

"You jumped me with it!" Darien cried in a strangled voice. "Andrew still won't let you have knives in there!"

"Hey, there was a spider on you. I'm telling you, I saw it. Just because Andrew chose to believe the anti-everything weirdo one of us," Why? I still don't know. A gargled sound rose in the back of his throat, "doesn't mean that you have to bring it up all the time!" I had never been so insulted as the time when Andrew said I wasn't allowed pointy things in the Crown. Sheesh, you try to save a guy from a lethal spider bite, even if he's your worst enemy, and look where it gets you. Tell me, do I seem like a person with violent tendencies? Never! I'm as meek and gentle as a lamb. The fact that I haven't killed Darien yet what with all the provocation he has given me over the years is proof of it. 

We sat in sullen silence for a few minutes. Perhaps the pout on my lips wasn't very mature of me but the fact that Darien was slumped sulkily against the bench next to me rather assuaged my thoughts on the matter. I had begun to doze lightly in the warm sunshine when Darien finally shifted. 

"Let's go, Meatball," he said, nudging my arm. 

"Leave me alone," I mumbled, turning my head away. "Can't you see I'm trying to get in a cat nap here?"

"Tsukino, I'm leaving and I don't think it's very safe for you to nap in the middle of a public park by yourself."

That popped my eyes open. I mean, I knew Darien could protect me as long as he was around since he was the not-so-gorgeous-anymore Tuxie. By myself, I seriously doubted I could handle anything. I must have forgotten to do my daily mantra 'you're beautiful, you're intelligent, you're invincible' in front of my mirror this morning if even my thoughts were lacking self-confidence!

"Fine!" I struggled to push myself up off of the bench. "Um, give me a minute, would you?" So much for my superb agility during pregnancy. I don't care what Ami says, I better have hit my third really-quick trimester because I don't see how I could handle a bigger belly. 

"Oh for goodness sakes!" Darien exclaimed, hooking his arms in my armpits and scooping me up. "I don't see why you didn't just ask for help."

"I could have gotten up," I protested. Underneath his level look (since when had _he_ managed to get his feelings all under control?), I relented. "Eventually."

"You're welcome Moonie."  And so saying, he tucked my hand in his elbow and started walking. Of course I had to follow him; it wasn't like I was particularly interested in greeting the grass face first! Letting my lashes shield my eyes, I cast him a suspicious glance. Darien behaving like a gentleman was a little too unusual for my tastes. I wondered what trick he had up his sleeve now. 

Having safely deposited me on my doorstep, Darien took off down the road with a cheerful whistle echoing from his lips. I crossed my arms and glared at his retreating back. How dare he confuse me like this? What was wrong with the man? Had he finally gone insane or what? I should have seen this one coming- ever since my confession about being Sailor Moon he had clearly been a little light in the loafers. Oh crap, that was the wrong reference, wasn't it? Well, you never know especially with that jerk!

Shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes…. "I can't find my flats!" I broke out wailing after spending the last ten minutes hunched over the floor, trying to see into the wilderness that was my closet. 

"They're by the door," Mina yelled. She was busy in the kitchen, whipping up some delectable smelling something. If you ask me, she was being entirely too secretive about the whole thing too. First of all, I had to pick the lock into _my own bathroom_ where she had hidden a largish sized basket filled with a facecloth, soap, toothpaste, cold medicine, canned soup, and a note. I had just started running the shower so that I could steam it open when Mina tackled me from behind, pried the midget piece of paper from greasy paws, and kicked me out of _my own bathroom_. After all my friendly hospitality, this is what she rewards me with? I don't think so buster!

"Can't I even look at the address," I asked petulantly on my way to my shoes. 

"Don't even think about it," Mina glared. "You'll meet him soon enough."

"Ah ha! So it's a 'he'!" I announced triumphantly. "Wait, I already knew that. You're not playing fair Mina!"

"Well you better start huffing and put your shoes on because Darien is here," she predicted. 

"How do _you_ know-?" I was interrupted by the buzzing of the doorbell shortly followed by the door opening right in my (very surprised) face. "Nice to see that you feel free to come in at any time!"

"I think so," Darien Shields amiably agreed, folding his arms and leaning against the doorway. Apparently he had recovered from his gentlemanly streak and was back to the usual moronic attitude. "Are you ready to go?"

"No," I answered shortly. Then, focusing entirely on keeping my balance, I bent over and succeeded in picking up the ballet flats that I had searched so frantically for. Mina hummed in the kitchen. Darien shifted impatiently beside me. 

"Would you like some help?" he offered.

"No thank you, I can manage," I gritted my teeth. You're damn right I can manage! How embarrassing not to be able to put on your own shoes. Vainly ignoring the tapping of a very shiny pair of black shoes whose owner probably didn't have a hard time at all putting on, I puffed and managed one shoe. It's all good. Then Darien was hauling me up by one arm, shoving a shoe on the shoeless foot, and dragging me out the door. 

I blinked rapidly. "What do you think you are doing?! I'm going to tell Andrew and he's going to punish you buddy! I bet I could even get him to take the coffee hostage!"  I've got top notch persuasive skills in case you haven't noticed. 

Darien snorted. "I seriously doubt that Meatballs. And in case you haven't noticed, we have exactly ten minutes to get you to your parents' house if you want to be on time for dinner."

I hate people that always have to be right. 

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Darien offered for the last time as I hesitated at the beginning of my parents' street. From there, I could already the corner of the house that used to be my bedroom. 

"I think it's important for a kid to have their father in her life," I informed him. Let Darien take the gist of it from there... muwahaha. To his credit, he didn't visually blanch although he should have. Darien had met my father before but for some reason Dad seemed to like him. Crazy, huh? I know _I_ don't understand it. 

"Well then, you'd better get moving," he informed me with a pointed look at his watch. With a grimace, I began inching (more like crawling) reluctantly towards the family homestead. From behind me came a snort. I shot him a spiteful look over my shoulder. 

"Perhaps today," Darien muttered in my ear, there was a small slap, and I stumbled forward a few steps. 

"Ugh!" I whuffed indignantly. He did not just do that; it must have been one weird delusional dream because Darien Shields definitely did NOT just slap my bottom. What am I, cattle to be prodded forward?  "I'll get you for that, you imbecile," I declared, rolling up my sleeves and preparing to do battle. 

"You can do anything you want to me as soon as you finish dinner at your parents' house," Mr. Cowboy winked. My jaw dropped. Naughty innuendos you bad boy! I growled. 

"Fine!" Stalking away can be very dignified sometimes but when your stalking is a cross between stalking and waddling… well it's not very dignified and unfortunately I knew it. A pox on you, Darien. I got up the stairs to the porch with relatively little difficulty and then things got strange. It was like entering the twilight zone or something equally freaky. The front door that had been familiar my entire life loomed upwards, twisted by my scrambling mind. The doorbell was equally distorted. I looked back at Darien and he blew me a kiss. I sniffed. I knew he was going to start mocking me soon enough. I opened the door. 

"Mom, Dad? I'm here!" I called as I shuffled to the kitchen. The scene was the same as it had been my entire life. Mom was hovering over the stove, her face pink from the steam, and Dad was at the table with thick glasses over his eyes, scanning through the business articles. 

"Hello darling," Daddy said placidly, absentmindedly glancing up before reaching for his glass of water. Then his eyes flew back and he choked on his water. "Ser-en-a," he hacked, gasping for air. 

"Hm?" Mom looked up from her sauce pot and her eyes rounded. "Honey, you look a little-"

"WHO DID IT?!" Dad roared, leaping from the table with a vividly purple face. "I'LL _KILL HIM! WIFE, TURN OFF THE OVEN, I'M HAVING HIS _BONES_ FOR MY __DINNER!"_

"Just relax Daddy, calm down," I tried to say in my most soothing voice although the glint in my father's eye was vaguely disturbing. I felt my younger brother come in behind me and heard him idly chomping on an apple.  

"Aw man," Sammy groaned. "I missed the good stuff!"

**Author's Note:  **Sometimes I think I must be the Queen of Excuses, so alright NO EXCUSES! Whew. That is so hard for an excuser. Sorry for taking so long with this chapter insert excuse here  (must be strong!) Screw it. I think I fell into a humorless funk… I know, talk about weird. I want my chapters to be funny and I wasn't thinking of funny and it was just ALL WRONG. Blech. For everyone who is as eager for this story to get on with it as I am (hee hee) I'm aiming for twelve chapters so there should be three left to go.  The title for the very ::sniff:: last chapter? Something along the lines of 'Wedding Bells for Rei'. Of course that sounds really corny but now you know the gist of what's coming. 

I also received many anxious e:mails asking whether or not this story was going to be continued. Of course it is!!! And I promise that if I ever decide not to (which isn't very likely,J) I will post a note about it. The past summer was slightly unusual for me: could it be, I actually found a life? Strange! I'm not the type to have a life. Anyway, sorry for all the delays and I hope you enjoyed it!


	10. Double the Trouble

**That Simple Magic**

Chapter Ten: _Double the Trouble_

"Oof- that's the last one," Darien grunted as he shoved the box filled with my shoes through the door. Sammy and Daddy had left only a few minutes ago. Sammy had gone because he had another date and Daddy because he couldn't manage to remember the reason why he wasn't allowed to mangle and crush Shields into gazillion smithereens. 

"Today was tough work," I sighed in agreement. My feet were propped up by a few cushions on the coffee table and I had sunk deeply into the plump pillows on the couch. My companion snorted derisively. 

"Tough work, huh Meatballs? I don't recollect you doing anything."

"Not true!" I protested. "You're still alive aren't you?"  Darien rolled his eyes. Obviously he wasn't as properly appreciative of my effort as he was supposed to be. Next time I'll spare my voice and let Dad rip him up. 

Hah, who was I kidding? I couldn't do that, I was too much of a _gentle person. The cushions on the couch shifted and Darien settled down next to me with a sigh. Despite my gut saying _never! You lie!_ I felt a twinge of pity for mine enemy. He had been working hard all day just for little old me._

"Do you want to watch the news or some boring history program?" I asked in an effort to reach out. Darien turned his head and regarded me through lidded eyes. 

"Sleep," was all he mumbled before his entire body drooped and he collapsed. A tiny snore emitted from his mouth. Smoking shish kabobs! I had never known anyone, excluding myself, to be able to fall asleep in two seconds flat. One nanosecond he was looking at me and grumbling nonsense and the next nanosecond, he was dead to the world with his head pillowed on my shoulder. Strange… but then, I've seen stranger. For instance there was that television program where this girl and this guy- ahem, never mind. 

A fuzzy, fleecy feeling curled in my chest and a smile crept over my face. The situation was certainly different from my regular, run of the mill life. But if I was going to live with one Darien Shields, I might as well get used to it- right? Because boy oh boy, I could definitely get used to this. Not to mention the fact that if he just so happened to drool on me, it would be excellent material for blackmail. 

What? Did you really think my character was just going to change like snap? 

Fortunately for Darien, my eyelids started feeling heavy and I rested my head on top of his (it was only going to be for a second! I swear) and drifted away. 

"Serena, open up this door!" came a muffled voice, followed by a timid knock. A brief scuffle later: "Gerrof-hey, that's my hair you're pulling!"

There was a thunderous pounding noise which echoed through the apartment. I woke up with a snort. As I blinked my eyes rapidly in an attempt to focus, I noticed that Darien was still sound asleep. I couldn't believe that he could actually sleep through that entire racket!

"Huh?" I announced intelligently to the unconscious room. I spit out some fluffy black hair that had found its way into my mouth… just so I wouldn't accidentally eat Darien's head. I mean, you never know with these things. 

There was some more banging. "Meatball Head, I know you're in there!" Rei's obnoxious shout effectively banished the cobwebs from my cloudy mind. With a grunt, I rolled the sleeping man sprawled on top of me to the side and made an attempt to get up. Unfortunately, gravity seemed to have other plans. I fell back onto the couch after the tenth try to leave its cushy confines. 

"Darien?" I whispered, listening to the fervent raucous outside the door. If allowed to continue the way she was going, Rei was likely to burn down the door in a fit. I nudged my roommate. "Come _on_ Shields, you zombie!" Finally I just gave up. Sorry girls, I guess you'll just have to come to me. It was too bad about the door. 

"_TSUKINO_!!" 

"COME IN!" I roared in response. Less than five seconds later an irritated Rei, accompanied by a mildly ruffled Ami appeared. I sniffed the air. "Hey, is something burning?"

"Rei melted the lock," Ami rolled her eyes. "I told her that working her powers was a fire hazard and could disrupt the balance between the elements in the mortar of the complex, ultimately bringing the building crashing around our ears but would she listen to me? Oh no!"

Uh right. Whatever you say Ami. "Yeah, okay, right," I agreed noncommittally. Rei took this opportunity to open her big mouth and start one of her infamously long rants when she took a good look at me and started to snicker. 

"What?" I demanded frantically as Rei's snickers escalated hysterically. Rei shook her head and gasped for air. 

"You couldn't get up, could you?"

"What's your point?" I pouted. At this, her laughter reached unparalleled heights. Oh _please, it wasn't __that funny. I'm sure _hundreds_ of people have gotten stuck in couches before! Even Ami chuckled a little bit. "Well jeez," I grumbled, putting as much disdain into my voice as possible, "why don't you help me up instead of leaving me to rot?"_

"Oh I don't know Serena," Ami sighed, a wicked twinkle glittering in the depths of her eyes. "You and Darien sure look cute cuddled up on the couch like that!"

"You!" I fought against the couch to lurch to my feet- and lost. I collapsed backwards again. "You take that back or else Ami!" I shrieked. Some people mistook Ami for being a nebbish sort of individual but I knew better. Wow, nebbish is a cool word. Let's say it again: 'nebbish.' Hee hee, whoo boy. 

"Now Serena," Rei said in what she apparently thought was a soothing voice. Like anything she said was going to sooth me. Did she think I had missed that high five she had just given to Ami?! I may be blonde but I'm sure not blind. "You need to calm down. For the baby's sake."

"Baby?! I'll baby you!" I growled. Of course, the threat was pretty ineffectual by dint of the fact that I couldn't get up. I'd work my way around that handicap in time. It was time to take out the big guns. I made a furtive glance at Darien. Now, if I was to be successful, he was going to help me out. If he didn't decide to help me out, my plan was doomed. I knew that there was a definite possibility that Darien would prove uncooperative and just laugh but that was a chance that I was willing to take. 

"Hey, did you see that sky today? Talk about blue!" I said in an effort to distract the two fiends. 

"Yes, Sere, riveting," Rei replied in what one could only call a VERY sarcastic tone. She and Ami exchanged glances. Seeing my chance, I seized the moment and my elbow swiftly found its way to the softer flesh in Darien's relaxed gut. Although, to be fair, it wasn't really soft. 

"Argh!" Darien yelped, leaping from the couch and almost knocking Rei over. 

"Ow!" I exclaimed, holding my elbow. But I let the bruised elbow go in case I missed an opportunity. "Quick, Darien, help me out of the couch so I can beat Rei to a pulp!" 

"Huh?" Darien asked groggily. Okay, so obviously neither of us was very intelligent when first awoken. 

"Oh ho ho, I don't think so Meatball," Rei crowed. "Come on Ami, let's bust on out of here. Catch you later, Mrs. Loverboy!" She grabbed hold of Ami's arm and quickly towed her out of the room, past the smoking remains that was formerly a lock, and out of the building. She really left because she was scared silly of me. I'm serious! It was. 

"What was that about?" Darien asked, yawning and scratching his head. 

"Nothing," I sulked, slouching further into the new bane of my life: the couch. "My life is ruined, that's all. Call in some take-out, would you?"

It had happened again. "Darien!" I yelled, in the wee hours of the morning. I was trapped by my own bed. A _thump! came from the other room._

"You called?" He appeared with a disgruntled expression on his handsome face. There was a red mark on his cheek from where he had been sleeping on top of a wrinkle. 

"Help me?" I begged with my best pout. "I really need to go to the bathroom." True, this was the third time tonight that I had woken up really needing to go to the bathroom and sure, Darien could supposedly hold a grudge against me for that. On the other hand, this kid was half his. 

"We really have to think of a better solution to this," Darien frowned as he shuffled across the room to assist me out of bed. I ruffled his already messy hair. 

"Thanks shmoopsypooh," I grinned as I held onto his shoulders for support. Once I was up, I made for the bathroom with as much speed as possible. Darien followed at a more sedate pace and dawdled in the kitchen until I had finished. I glanced at the clock when I returned: a cheerful two o'clock! 

"So, um, Mr. Shields," was the beginning of my roundabout apology. 

"Miss Tsukino?" he paused with a jug of orange juice in midair. 

"You aren't going to swig out of that are you?" I demanded suspiciously, allowing myself to get sidetracked. No! Bad Serena! "Oh um, not that it matters," I added quickly, seeing his dangerous expression. "I just wanted to say," ergh, this was awful, "sorry."

Darien blinked and then blinked again like I had said something that had completely boggled the mind. The orange juice bottle hadn't moved from its place over his mouth. His face was starting to turn red. Finally, he ripped away the jug and started to cough. "Care to repeat that, madam?" he asked mischievously. 

By this time, my face was much redder than his. "I said sorry, twerp," I growled. Sheesh, you try to be nice and then all of a sudden it's this MONSTER-SIZED deal. 

"Say it again," an infectious grin spread across his face and his tone sounded like a petulant child. 

"No way buddy," I crossed my arms. "I don't think so." 

"Come on Bunnykins," his twisted grin stretched wider across his face. "You know you want to."

"I think I don't," I retorted, childishly sticking out my tongue. 

"Not even for Tuxedo Mask?" 

That's it! I'm never sharing any details of my past crushes until I know who the person is behind the mask. Man was I dumb for ever letting that cat out of the bag. 

"Shut up!" I grumbled, grabbing the orange juice container and taking a gulp from it myself. Then I shuffled over to the refrigerator, replaced it, and slammed the door. On a side note, I always find slamming doors, hitting pillows, throwing cats, and pinching people excellent vents of anger. With that in mind, I shuffled on over to Darien and pinched him. 

"Ow, what was that for?" Darien demanded, cradling his arm. He shook himself, as if reminding himself that he was Tuxedo Mask and things like pinches from girls weren't supposed to bother him. Yeah, right. If I ever got Darien minus coffee he would be crying like a babe. 

"Since when do I need a reason? You're just you," boom bam baby, I was just churning out these retorts. He grunted. 

"Well, I've decided that you should sleep with me if you continue to need help getting out of bed," he announced, raising his eyebrows at my flabbergasted look. Frantically I pushed the idea of a razor out of my mind again. 

"WHAT?" I squeaked in a good imitation of a mouse. "Are you _insane?!"_

"It's not as if I'd try to take advantage of you," Darien proclaimed airily, earning a death glare for his nonchalant tone. "After all, we all know where this situation started from."

"Oh sure, blame it on me mister," my jaw hurt from being clenched so tightly. My mood didn't improve when I felt a kick coming from inside of me. If it wasn't already obvious, I could tell who the father of this child was. Already out to get their own mother and they hadn't even reached the teenage years! "As if I had any control out of that stupid, miserable little crystal."

"You know, suddenly I've a yen to toss you out of the window," Darien crossed his arms, "but unfortunately I don't want to break my back. Stop being ridiculous, the bed is big enough that we don't even have to touch unless it's me shoving you out of the bed so you can go relieve your bladder."

_Too good to even say go pee_, I thought darkly. _Sure, 'go relieve your bladder.'_' "Don't think for one second, buddy that you'd even get away after pushing me out of the bed. I've got connections; they would hunt you down before you even made it to the Arcade."

A snort was his smugly eloquent rejoinder. "Suit yourself Meatball Head but I'm not getting up again to help you to the bathroom. Good morning."

And do you believe what that jerk did next? He turned around, returned to his bedroom with an exaggerated sigh of relief, and CLIMBED BACK INTO BED! Good grief, what is a good girl like me supposed to do in this sort of condition? Because I'm sure not going to let myself wet the bed at this age, let me tell you! I mean, surely Darien couldn't possibly really mean what he said, correct? Nobody's that heartless. I wouldn't put it pass Darien though, he has that spiteful streak in him. Hey, just because I'm the only one who has ever witnessed it- no, it's true! Grrr. 

After a good two minutes of useless dithering, I growled. Darien was already lightly snoring; I could hear it through the opened door. _Fine. If that's the way he was going to play this game then so be it. _

I softly pattered into his bedroom and managed not to stumble over anything in the dark. I managed to get into the right side of the bed since his snores told me pretty accurately where he was. Now for my plan of attack; I kicked my cold feet through the warm blankets and they landed right where I wanted them to: on Darien's shins. 

"Hey!" he yelped with a start and as he recoiled there was a great fwhoomp! Darien switched on his bedside lamp so that he could narrow his eyes accusingly at me from his seat on the floor. 

"What?" I shrugged, feeling perfectly comfortable. "It was your idea, not mine!" With that, I propped some pillows around me and went to sleep. 

_"Hello darling," I cooed to the chubby little bundle in my arms, "yes, aren't you precious? Mama woves you, yes she does!" My adorable, rosy cheeked little boy gurgled and blew bubbles at me.  He had sleepy blue eyes underneath a tuft of ebony hair. Yes, what a handsome boy! _

_"Serena, have you seen my silk tie anywhere? The blue one?" __Darien__ asked, buttoning up his shirt as he walked barefooted into the kitchen. He stooped to place a kiss on my cheek and I smiled in spite of myself. _

_"Did you check the hanger?" I asked with as innocent a face as possible. _

_"Of course I did," __Darien__ grumbled, running a hand through his hair so that it was rumpled just like his son's. His appearance was gorgeous as usual, dressed in a crisp white shirt and black pants that I knew personally were tailored to his shape perfectly. "What do you think I am, an idiot?" _

_"Nooo," I drawled out, careful not to look at him so that a giggle wouldn't escape. I shifted our baby's position so that his head rested on my shoulder, freeing the other arm. _

_"Okay Meatball Head, what did you do with it?" __Darien__ folded his arms, his blue eyes searching me. _

_"What makes you think I did anything?" I inquired, the wide grin on my face obviously looking suspicious. _

Good morning Andrew…

_I blinked briefly; __Darien__'s image fuzzed out and then reappeared. "Serena, I need this client if you want to buy that monstrosity of a gift for Mina for her wedding party."_

…wake us up… it's okay… what?...

_"Oh yeah," in my mind zoomed a quick picture of a colossal basket of goodies and a giant orange bow. I had the vague distinction of a shopping trip searching for it. _

…yes, she's right next to me… asleep… WHAT?!... oh no buddy…. Umm hmmm….

_"Spill, Bunnykins," __Darien__ commanded. "I know you're up to something. Dimitri is telling me."_

_"What?" I squawked. I eyed the baby I was holding. "That's not fair! You aren't allowed to read Dimitri's memory!"_

…of course I won't tell her… let the girls know…

_Won't tell who?_

_What girls?_

_  
What in the world is going on around here?_

"Hunghr," was the first word out of my mouth as I opened my eyes. It must have been an automatic reaction because I wasn't really feeling hungry at the moment. With a lot of effort, I managed to flip onto my back and see Darien on the phone beside me. He was leaning drowsily against the pillow and every so often his words would slur slightly. 

Wow, did I just have a weird dream or what? There must be something in this room that causes weird stuff like that. 

"Good morning," Darien said, his eyes flicking to me. "Drew, can you hold on for a second? Thanks."

"Somphin' goin' on?" I asked. So apparently my vocal skills weren't at their peak early on in the day. 

Darien covered the mouth piece of the phone with a hand. "Lots. Molly Fitzpatrick called around eight to say that everything's going smoothly at work but there is a folder of stuff you need to okay. Your dad also called," he winced at the memory, "I didn't mention that you were sleeping right next to me, thank goodness. Andrew is on the phone right now and he says Ami wants us to meet her at her office at two so that she can do a check-up on you and the baby, and Rei's wedding rehearsal is in the evening."

I looked at the clock which read 11:28 in neon red numbers. "You don't have to work today?" 

"I took a vacation for the next week, hold on," Darien uncovered the mouthpiece on the telephone. "Okay Andrew, everything's all set. I'll call you back later, alright? 'K, talk to you later." There was a dial tone and then Darien hung up the phone. 

"Okay, are you ready for the plan of action?" he asked, with a wink. "Don't say yes unless you really mean it."

"Wow, you really take these 'plans' seriously," I rolled my eyes. "Bring it on, baby."

I slouched in the front seat of the Darien's car, grumbling under my breath. Things had been off to a rough start ever since the beginning when he stole the shower away from me. I was forced to putter around in the kitchen and sip orange juice while the JERK took his OWN SWEET TIME singing in the shower. And I mean singing, literally, at the top of his lungs- just to rub it in that I was sitting with a bathrobe on and yucky hair because it hadn't been washed yet. After that, he insisted on taking me out for breakfast (which was really more of a "snack" since we were eating at one and then going out to lunch with Ami.) Well! You'd be surprised how many places don't serve breakfast meals at one in the afternoon! 

We could have gone to Andrew's arcade because at least my good, loveable, friendly pal Andrew would have given me scrambled eggs and bacon in the afternoon. But oh, no, apparently Andrew was "Too busy" for us to stop by.  At least we ended up going to the BBB again so I got a delicious pastry. That is beside the point though!

Hmph. That wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was when we visited Silver Moonbeams Ink, let me tell you. 

We walked into the lobby and of course Darien acted like a gentleman in public (he couldn't ruin his image now could he, the shower stealer!) In his nice, _gentleman_-like way, he opened the doors for me as if I couldn't handle pushing a door handle myself. I'm pregnant, not a pile of noodles! 

"Serena!" Molly rushed over as soon as we entered the building. She looked very attractive and slim today in her crimson pant suit today. Damn. Behind her trailed the eldest of her evil brood, an eight year old named Maegan who had had it out for me ever since we met (she was four at the time and had stuck her gum in my hair after I said she was adorable. Hah! See if I ever make that mistake again.)  You may laugh but you have noooo idea the trauma little girls can cause! I should know, seeing as I was one of them. 

"Molly!" a real smile plastered my face; I had missed my gossipy secretary! My third mom! Tears rose in my eyes as I hurried to give her a hug. 

"You're fat," Maegan announced carelessly, crossing her arms and glaring at me. My jaw dropped so low I swear I was eating the dirt on the ground. 

"Maegan," Molly, who had been smoothing her hand over my stomach in a motherly caress, paused to admonish the demon child. "That is not polite." The demon child just shrugged. As subtly as I could manage, I tried to check to see if she had a forked tail. 

Nope. 

I wouldn't trust that though. It was probably just hidden by her skirt. 

"So," Darien cleared his throat. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Ms. Fitzpatrick, as always."

"Likewise," Molly hastened to agree, sticking her elbow into my side to say 'see? I told you he was charming.' Poor, misguided fool. "Mr. Shield, may I introduce you to my daughter Maegan? She has no school today so she's tagging along with me."

"It's wonderful to meet a young lady as beautiful as you," he added to the devil-spawn. DS blushed. 

"Th-thank you," she stuttered. Oh no, this was too rich! That twerp had a crush on Darien! I barely refrained from snickering. 

"So Molly, you said you had the layouts for me?" I asked, only the smallest hint of a giggle escaping into my voice. 

"Oh yes, of course," she shook her head. "Mr. Shields, would you mind watching Maegan for a few minutes while Serena comes with me?"

"No problem," the vile man said easily with a wink, "it will be good practice for when our baby gets older."

"Ew," Maegan scrunched her nose, "you're having a baby with _her_?"

Huh! Why that little- grrr. I'll grind her bones for my bread. 

"Meatball Head's not that bad once you get used to her."

"Meatball Head?" I could hear the way her voice picked up with interest at the nickname. _Note to self: Kill __Darien. Luckily for Darien's personal safety, I didn't hear the rest of the conversation since Molly and I had walked into the floor's break room. _

"Serena, he's so gorgeous!" Molly exclaimed in a whisper that was as loud as speaking regularly as soon as we had entered the break room. "You sure caught one of the best fishes out there."

"Um, right," I said in a non-committal tone. When I became Queen of the World (only a matter of time since I was the Moon Princess! What? You don't think so?!) I would make it mandatory that every citizen attended an informational meeting that said "DARIEN IS EVIL. YOU DO NOT LIKE DARIEN. HE IS BAD. _BAD!!!" Clearly, it would help to get rid of all the confusion and help the poor deluded souls who thought he was a good guy back onto the smarter path. My path. _

"Here you are!" and Molly handed me a several heavy folders stacked with glossy photos and papers a foot high. I grunted as I attempted to balance the papers against my belly. Or maybe I just grunted because that was the time when someone decided to kick me from the inside out. It's sort of unnerving, having that happen to you. 

"Urgh, thank you." If I died in labor, at least no one could ever say I wasn't polite. 

Oh my goodness. I never thought of the danger in giving birth.

WHAT IF I DIED?

_No Serena, no, you're just being foolish_, I sternly reminded myself. Besides, standing right next to me was a woman who had given birth four whole times and she was still breathing! Although how she managed to do that with Miss Devil in the lobby was beyond me, that's for sure. 

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Ms. Fitzpatrick, but Serena and I really must go," Darien entered the room right before I began to have a nervous breakdown, Maegan trotted along behind him with starry eyes. Insert giggle number one here. Deftly, Darien took the pile of work from my weak arms and the pipsqueak scowled at me. Time for giggle number two? Yep, I think so! Take that Maegan! "We have an appointment to be at and we cannot afford to be late, I'm afraid."

"Yep," I agreed, "it's urgent. Utmost importance, what a shame we have to leave but what can you do? Thanks a bunch Molly! _Lovely to see you again_, **Maegan**." 

"You betcha!" Maegan put on her angelic face. I ground my teeth again and grabbed Darien's elbow, virtually dragging him out of the building. I turned my head to toss a triumphant look at Maegan and she sneered at me before she returned to her 'I am perfect' face. 

Some people might thing me immature. Hah! I spit in your face! If you had to deal with this…inhuman thing… you'd understand. 

"Boy am I hungry!" I announced as we headed into the parking lot. "The sooner we get to Ami's the better!" 

"That's for sure," Darien's forehead had was beaded with sweat. "I think I'm going to need some therapy soon."

"Why's that?" I asked curiously. Then I realized I was just setting myself up. "And you better not mean because of me buddy!"

"No way! I'm talking about that girl, Maegan!" he shivered. "There must be some mental trauma from a kid like that." Wow, how astute of him. Maybe Darien wasn't as bad as I had previously thought. Perhaps I should change the informational meeting from 'DARIEN IS EVIL' to 'MAEGAN IS EVIL'? Nah. I'd better just make it a two for one deal. 

"Darien, Serena," Ami greeted us, quickly ushering us into her cozy little office with five different filing cabinets. I'd get lost pretty quickly trying to deal with that mess, that's for sure. "My Serena, you are getting large."

"So I've heard," I retorted sourly while Darien snickered. "I couldn't tell when I _couldn't get out of the couch_." Don't tell me you thought I wouldn't be bitter over that still, did you? Hoo boy, I wasn't getting over that baby until I managed to get my _revenge_. Muwahahahaha! 

Ahem. Anyway….

"So are you going to be doing a check-up, Ami?" Darien asked as he settled into a chair. Ami perched on the edge of her desk. 

"Yep, only this time I'll be using this handy dandy item!" she waved her little blue computer left over from the days of Sailor Moon kicking butt and vanquishing evil like nobody's business along with her trusty mascots, I mean scouts, and her sidekick Tuxedo. Uh, right… you know, I think Ami's been hanging out with us for too long if she's starting to use words like "yep." 

"So do I need to be standing up or may I sit?" 

"Go ahead and sit down," Ami said and I plopped down into the chair next to Darien with relief. We exchanged weary smiles. My feet were absolutely killing me here! Ami frowned as her computer blinked and started emitting high pitched beeps. "Hmm, this is odd," she muttered to herself. "Actually, Serena, I think you need to stand up for this." 

That was a little strange. Position had never really mattered before to Ami's computer. 

"Hmph," I grunted. "I wish you had told me this before I sat down." I attempted to climb out of the chair. "Hey darling face, a little help here?" I demanded of Darien who was smirking at me. Jerk. 

"Of course, sweetie pie," he murmured with a cruel wink. I'm positive that man lives just to aggravate me. "Hurgh, umph, ah!" he lifted me out of the seat. 

"That was totally exaggerated and you know it!" I yelped once I was standing again. We made faces at each other but since Darien's face is so weird anyway (not) he won. I turned my back to him with a sniff. "Is this okay Ami?"

"Um, yeah," Ami said. Her face started to turn pink. "Oh boy, you are going to kill me Serena for not warning you of the possibility…."

"What possibility?!" I screeched, horrified. "My poor baby's not deformed because of that stupid crystal, is he? Ohh," I growled. "What I wouldn't do to that crystal if I could!" 

"Uh no, that's not it." Ami studied her computer carefully. I was starting to get impatient enough to whip the computer out of her hands and try to analyze myself. Darien was looking concerned as well. 

"On one hand, I'm sure you'll be happy to know that you are due any day now," Ami informed us. 

"_Any day?_" I exclaimed. "Like even today?!" What in the world were we going to do? We hadn't even been crib shopping! Damn it, why hadn't Darien thought of this? He was supposed to be the smart one around here! 

"That's not all," she accidentally let loose a giggle, "oh Serena, if only you knew."

"**_Knew_? Knew what?!" I yelled. "Tell me before I go into early labor!"**

"You're having twins."

… uh….

…ergh…

…woa…

Well really, what was I supposed to say to that after she dropped such a bombshell? Our faces were identical in disbelief as Darien placed a comforting arm around my shoulders. "Are you sure?" he inquired. 

"One hundred percent positive." I half turned into Darien's embrace and he looked down at me. A beautiful smile slowly slid across his face and onto mine. 

"If we have two daughters I will laugh and laugh," I smirked. 

"I'll be the one laughing when we have two sons!" Darien lashed back, his smile never leaving. With that we both laughed and laughed, and then laughed some more. 

For the record, I'd put money on my prediction. 

Well, I mean, it _is_ my prediction. 

---------------

**Author's** **Note: Extra points to whomever recognized the quotes scattered throughout the chapter, heehee! Oh gosh golly darn, this chapter took so much longer than I expected to come out. I want to apologize for the belated chapter and to all the people who I e:mailed saying that this would be up before the new year: SORRY!!! I'm so bad! All the wonderful reviews and the e:mails I was getting really succeed in making me feel happy and guilty at the same time (guilts a good thing though: I write more when I get guilty!) **


	11. How to Make a Big Entrance

**That Simple Magic**

_Chapter Eleven: How to Make a Really Big Entrance (without even trying)_

Once upon a time there lived a girl whose name was Serena. Serena was your average girl; she loved to eat and play with her friends. The only thing that wasn't so normal about Serena was the fact that in her private life she was also a crime-fighting heroine named Sailor Moon. Like all teenage girls, she had crushes and her major crush was on her hero, Tuxedo Mask (Tuxie for short.) She also had more enemies than just the criminal ones she fought. Her arch-nemesis was a scummy boy by the name of Darien Shields. Serena grew up and her crime-fighting skills became less in demand so she took a job at a magazine and became decently successful as well as managing to keep the bumping (sometime literally) into the nefarious Darien at a minimum. She thought her life was grand- and that, my friend, is when it all went wrong.

The moon crystal that the good, innocent, and incredibly beautiful Serena had so-depended on in her youth turned out to be a _deceitful_, **manipulative**, and altogether NASTY piece of work; it led Serena to become knocked up by her enemy Darien, which consequently made her to decide to move in with said creep, and therefore share a KITCHEN, FOOD, and now-most important of all- _A CHEESEBURGER WITH A SIDE ORDER OF FRIES_!!

"Get your grubby paws off of my food!" I yelled at Darien as once again, he inched his hand towards my plate. You would think that I, being pregnant and all with not just one but TWO babies, would have been the bottomless pit. Think again, buddy.

"For your information, I am buying this food and that is your third cheeseburger. I don't think that you're about to start wasting away," he replied calmly, shoving a handful of fries into his mouth. Well, maybe it was only a couple of fries... alright ONE. It was ONE measly fry but that doesn't excuse him by a long shot.

"Would you two mind if we stopped at the arcade before dropping me off at my office?" Ami asked with a subtle glance at her watch while I polished off the last bite of my cheeseburger.

"Are you sure he's not too busy?" I said, shooting a sour look at Darien. He remained utterly nonplussed.

"What time is it, about three o'clock? I'd say that that's perfect timing," Mr. Perfect exchanged a glance with Ami while ignoring me. I didn't really care though because already I was fantasizing about a nice, cold, strawberry shake. Maybe with whipped cream even? And a cherry on top? That would be absolutely perfect. Darien finished paying the tab and we walked down the street to where the car was parked.

"Ugh, this car is so stuffy," I complained as I carefully scooted into Darien's vehicle of choice. Leather seats may seem all and good but as soon as the warm weather hits, they're sticky and hot. Once Darien has started the engine, I wasted no time in getting the window down.

"You've always have a problem, don't you Serena," he grumbled. "Don't touch that dial!"

I leaned back, rather sulkily in my seat, having been chastised for attempting to change the radio station. Ami snickered at me from the back seat. I could see her reflection in the side mirror and made a face. She rolled her eyes.

"Serena, you do realize you are going to have to grow up a little bit when you become a parent?"

"Don't worry, Darien can take care of the adult part- can't you pal?" I exclaimed jovially. "After all, he's been _mature_ since he was a toddler."

"Naturally," he agreed, "my intelligence has always far outweighed yours." I frowned and slid him a glance through the corner of my eyes. He had a small smirk twisting his face. Oh, he might think he got the better of me now but just you wait buddy! One day I would absolutely skewer him with a retort. Note to self: Discuss nasty retorts with the Queen of Masterful Put-downs: Rei.

On the average day, Andrew's arcade was a pretty colorful and festive place but today there was definitely more _pizzazz _than usual. Brightly dyed streamers in all the colors of the rainbow dangled from the ceiling and balloons were taped to corners. The counter that I usually enjoyed sitting at was covered in a fluorescent pink tablecloth and confetti. On top of that was the part that was my favorite: bowls of chips and dip, cookies, and all that delicious stuff! However, there was one thing that was niggling at the back of my mind.

Why was the arcade decorated for a party? Then it clicked: obviously Andrew must have rented out the arcade as he does occasionally for birthday parties. It was all clear to me now! Darien must have made us skip the arcade for breakfast because he knew Andrew had enough work preparing for some little tyke's party. But the party must have been over now because the arcade looked deserted.

"Would you look at all those leftovers," I said. Even if I had just had an enormous lunch, there was still some room left in my stomach. "You don't think anybody would mind if I ate some-"

"SURPRISE!" Oh no, the party goers hadn't left yet and they were angry because I wanted to steal their food! They were hoping to suffocate me with confetti in their mob of rage.

"Ahhh!" I shrieked, whirlwinding into Darien's arms. "Quick Darien, grab the chips and let's make a break for it." When he didn't move but just stood and laughed, I frowned and thought back about what had just happened.

"Oops," I giggled weakly, turning around and smiling at all of my friends and family who had turned up. I could see Rei was having a hard time to keep from laughing herself to death.

"'grab the chips and let's make a break for it'?" she snickered as she came forward from the crowd and gave me a hug. Actually it was more like she collapsed on me before she keeled onto the ground from lack of oxygen. Mom was busy snapping pictures as if her life depended on capturing every moment. "I never realized how dense you were until now."

"It's not that funny," my voice was muffled in her shoulder feeling utterly humiliated. My tender emotions weren't helped by a. raging hormones and b. Darien's barely disguised snickers. My face was beet red as I lifted it up to look around and see who was there.

"Move over, fireface, and let me give the mother-to-be a hug," Lita demanded, neatly elbowing Rei out of the way. "Congratulations gorgeous!"

I sniffled. "You guys are the best... even if you do make fun of me," I added darkly as I saw Ami and Rei standing next to each other wearing identical "cat that got the canary" grins.

"Aw, group hug!" Mina squealed. As I was embraced by my best friends a few more bright flashes went off.

"Clear the way," Andrew ordered. "What, no hug for providing the party place and the occasional free milkshake?"

I flung myself at him and Rita. "Thanks a million!"

"Was it a big surprise?" Rita asked excitedly, her cheeks flushed.

"You betcha," I groped behind me, searching for Darien's hand. I turned around to see him watching us with an odd half-smile on his face. I beckoned fiercely for him to come over. Andrew was his best friend after all.

"It was Darien's idea," Andrew admitted as the tall dark haired man joined us. I looked up adoringly at him and impulsively decided to grab his hand. He looked startled for a moment but then a smug look crept across his face.

"I knew you would love it," he smirked.

"I do," I admitted still looking admiringly at him. I couldn't help it, the man was positively addicting. I traced his jaw line with my eyes before tearing them away. It would be mortifying if he had seen me staring him! Andrew and Rita's knowing looks were bad enough but Darien would tease me forever.

We circulated after that with beaming smiles (I couldn't help the occasional tears in my eyes). Mom and Dad, along with Sammy and his newest girlfriend were there, naturally. Dad seemed to have warmed up a bit towards Darien judging from the good natured ribbing he was getting. Further along was Molly who was grinning so hard that it seemed her face was split in two. She was accompanied by her husband Marvin.

"Thank goodness that terror isn't here," Darien muttered in my ear. I giggled, filled with happiness. The only thing that really marred my cheer was the fact that Luna wasn't there. Seeing as she had disappeared somewhere with Artemis a few days ago meant that she hadn't had a chance to be formally introduced to Darien as my (talking) kitty. Thinking about that prospect made me want to cackle; I could only imagine his reaction.

"Darien," I mumbled as we stood together in front of a pile of presents on the counter. He bent his dark head closer and I caught a whiff of his shampoo. "What do you think of sharing our even BIGGER surprise right now?"

He opened his mouth but was interrupted by another high-pitched squeal from Mina who had noticed a stranger open the arcade door. Like a tornado, she whirled past everyone to leap onto him. He staggered backwards and then recovered. My eyes popped and I moved towards the couple. The stranger was tall and lean, a little on thin side for my tastes, with platinum blonde hair that was nearly white tied back at the nape of his neck.

"So _you're _her new beau," Darien had attempted to restrain me from my attack on Mina and her friend but with determination like mine, nothing could stop moi! I rubbed my hands together in glee, already wondering how this could translate into sweet revenge. "I'm so happy to meet you; I'm her greatest friend Serena."

"I'm Malcolm Starbright," he introduced himself, looking rather abashed at Mina's exuberant greeting. He really was as tall as Darien (not such a _small _accomplishment, ok I really shouldn't try to tell jokes) and steady cool grey eyes. I was incredibly relieved to realize the man that had been in Mina's bed couldn't have been more than thirty. He and Darien rather squinted at each other as if they were sizing each other up.

"I'm Darien Shields," Darien said holding out his hand. "To my chagrin, I'm with this one."

"Excuse me?" I demanded giving him a death glare as he and Malcolm shook hands. He ignored me. There must be some defense mechanism built into him that automatically reflects off death glares because he never got the hint to keel over no matter how many times I tried that look on him.

"You know, you look familiar," Darien was saying. It seemed as if I had met Mina's boy before too but then again, that could have been because of my vision. "And I know it's not because I've seen you on a billboard."

"A billboard?" I said.

"Of course, silly," Mina giggled, holding Malcolm's arm close to her chest. "He's one of the top models in the business."

I was an _idiot_! I should have been able to figure out who Mina was seeing a long time ago even without her help. Malcolm Starbright was incredibly famous, just the sort of man Mina could be trusted to know, especially since they were both in the same business. And how many white haired men were models?

"I'm so glad you're with Mina," I confessed as I pulled the other couple out of the doorway and into the arcade. "I knew you had white hair and I was so afraid that she had got a sugar daddy!" I could tell by the Darien was shaking next to me that he was withholding laughter. Mina's blue eyes narrowed dangerously and she hissed.

"_Serena!_"

"What?"

Malcolm coughed. "Well, thank you."

"Serena," Darien said, "why don't we go and have some brownies?"

"You don't need to ask me twice! It was very nice meeting you Malcolm!"

As soon as we were away to the snacks, Darien had an _absolute_ meltdown and collapsed helplessly onto a stool.

"I should take advantage of you in this state," I said through a mouthful of brownie, "but seeing as I'm an unnaturally kind person, I won't."

"God, Serena," he gasped for air. "I don't think my lungs can take being around you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" my naughty mind could supply other reasons that would cause his lungs to work hard but I didn't suppose that's what he had in mind. Darien just shook his head.

A little while later, I scanned the room. I could see Jake and Malcolm talking while Mina laughed brightly with Lita. Rei was looking a trifle murderous as she searched for the rest of the orange soda. Mom and Rita were discussing secrets in a corner, throwing furtive glances Andrew's way. I was standing with Darien, Andrew, Ami, and Daddy (who were in a conversation that had gone far beyond the depths of my knowledge.) The happiness was so intense in my heart that I was almost positive it would burst. Then I realized something.

There was a bit of wetness on the loose dress I wore. That's funny- I didn't recall spilling anything on me. Nope, definitely no memory. I frowned although the story that Andrew was relating was supposed to be a silly one: something about me and a butter knife....Abruptly I got the idea of just what might be going on. Oh no. How was I supposed to point out a little wet spot and-

"Ouch!" I hissed, placing a hand over my stomach and bending over. Fudge it all! Darien put an arm around me in concern.

"Meatball Head? Are you okay?" Before our amazed eyes, a ripple cascaded across my stomach. Dad's mouth dropped.

"Okay, don't panic- whatever you do, just don't panic!" Ami announced in a calm and soothing voice. "Darien, go get your car quickly."

"What's going on? Tell me what's happening!" A beautiful vision of Daddy appeared in front of my eyes. "Don't panic Ken, don't panic!" he exclaimed to himself, pressing a hand to his heart.

"Daddy?" I said. "I think the baby is coming."

Daddy fainted.

_So much for not panicking_. Even _I, _the _pregnant _lady, didn't begin to panic until I was wheeled into the hospital corridor after Darien broke all speed laws getting to the hospital.

"I'm not ready to be a parent!" I yelped through the pain. "There's so much responsibility, I'm too selfish!"

"Don't worry sweetheart," Mom called. "You'll be a wonderful mother!"

"We speak the same language but somewhere along the way the meaning gets lost," I groaned to Darien. We arrived at the birthing room and I hung onto his elbow for dear life. "Don't you _dare _leave me pal."

"I'll be with you the whole time," he promised.

As I gripped Darien's hand hard enough to turn it black and blue, I found time to contemplate ways that he would die for the pain I was experiencing. The room was rather quiet except for my harsh breathing and the sounds of medical instruments.

"Relax Serena," Darien's free hand smoothed over my sweaty forehead. "It will be over soon."

Yea! That's exactly what the creep had been telling me for the last ten hours!

"Darien?" I hissed in a dangerously soft voice.

"Yes?"

"Remind me to KILL YOU when all of this is OVER!!!" After all, I couldn't be too excited, I had to be relaxed. Although how the hell I was supposed to be relaxed when all of this pain just kept... kept....

"Just relax, my Odango."

I like to think that my answering shrieks were suitably furious.

An indeterminate amount of time passed during which I hurled insults at Darien, poor man. He didn't take anything being said seriously which was pretty damn frustrating if you ask me because I totally meant everything I said. I couldn't handle being too angry at him, though, as he stroked my sweaty hair and placed cooling cloths on my forehead.

When the midwife placed the babies in my arms, I was utterly exhausted with my head resting weakly on Darien's arm. In spite of this, I opened my eyes to look at the little rascals who had decided to arrive fashionably late (at least it gave me hope that they would have a style sense.) Two adorably perfect little boys. One yawned, crinkling his red wrinkly face. The other wriggled in my arms and looked like he was ready to begin wailing protests at entering a new world all over again.

"How would you like to see your daddy, precious?" I cooed to the bawling baby. His brother was content ignoring him and staring all around with interest, He was going to be a genius just like Darien, I could tell. Darien, his face awash with love and awe gently lifted our screaming son. Would you believe that tiny Trouble quit screeching to wave his hands excitedly in Darien's face?

"Ten fingers, ten toes," the nurse said, "perfectly healthy little boys. What are their names?" Darien and I exchanged horrified glances.

"Oh no" I groaned, tears gathering in my eyes. "We don't even have names!"

"Now don't worry darling," the nurse hastened to reassure me before I started bawling like a baby myself. "It's not the first time this has happened. Someday you'll look back at this and laugh." For some reason, I didn't feel particularly comforted. But looking into our small son's blueberry eyes, I didn't really care. Having the two with us was all that was important at the moment.

The two days I spent in the hospital seemed to be the longest days of my life, not counting labor. Darien was there most of the time and while we were together we would pour over baby name books, searching for the right one for our sons. The first day, when we were alone, his eyes had gone distant and then a moment later he pulled a rose out of thin air.

"Smooth," I commented as he handed it to me with a flourish. "Maybe you should become a magician."

He grinned. "Well I _do _have a few more magic tricks up my sleeve...."

I opened my mouth to ask what before realizing that there was a sly look to his eyes. I just said a demure thank you instead and Darien passed me a book. Unfortunately we were both having a hard time coming up with names that belonged to our beautiful sons. Aside from the annoyance I felt at myself for not being able to name our children, I admittedly was having a pretty fun time. Each of us was holding a sleeping baby as we read.

"How about 'Dionysius'?" Darien asked.

"That sounds interesting," I said flipping through my book. "_WHAT? _You must be kidding! We are NOT naming one of our babies after the god of _wine and revelry_." I don't know what caused me to suggest the next name because I really wasn't feeling too kindly towards my mate. Did I say mate? For clarification, that completely was meant as a synonym of friend. Did I say friend? Blech.

"What do you think of naming one after you?" I asked.

"Isn't that a little egotistical?" Darien said.

"Why not 'Dorian'?" I said. Darien smiled at me.

"Why not?"

The babies were named Dorian and Evander. Eva was the one that was partial to his father while Dorian was my little gift. Although Evander would probably take on the nickname 'Andy' like our friend, I had the feeling that I would always call him Eva. Daddy and Mom were absolutely enamored of the grandchildren although I keep getting the feeling that Dad also wants a granddaughter.

That wasn't the reason he was acting all buddy-buddy with Darien, was it? I'm going to have to make a point to have a gentle chat with both of them.

Mina and Malcolm showed up with a bouquet of flowers and as she hugged me, Mina mentioned that Artemis and Luna had finally returned although the kitties weren't mentioning where they had disappeared to.

"I'll get it out of her, just you wait," I snickered as Mina and I conferred.

"I've already tried threatening Artemis with no food but he just pops over to the Arcade and Andrew will give him something to eat," Mina sighed. "Softie."

"Watch, Luna would tell me anything if I denied her her favorite soap opera," I explained.

"What are you two whispering about?" Darien asked as he and Malcolm sprawled in rather uncomfortable chairs but both managed to do it elegantly.

"Nothing," Mina and I answered with guilt simultaneously. Mina's look instantly changed to one of adoration as she glanced at Malcolm. I rolled my eyes at Darien. Later, he asked why I never looked at him like I wanted to eat him for dessert and do all sorts of dirty things. I sniffed.

"Some dessert, I bet you would taste horrible."

"Wouldn't _you _like to know!"

"So," Darien lounged on the couch next to me; the babies had finally fallen asleep but it had been a close call as to who would snooze first, them or us. He was sitting close enough to me that there was the slightest contact whenever one of us moved and his touch still sent tingles down my spine. We were getting on with our master plan of asking one question per night to get to know each other better. This was the trial run.

I cracked a yawn and rested my head on his shoulder. "So?"

"How long have you been attracted to me?" he asked nonchalantly, running his hand through my hair.

"What?!" I exclaimed, jerking back so that I could look him in the face. This ultimately proved to be a bad move considering now he had a perfect view of my vibrant blush. Suddenly I felt like this wasn't a good plan. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Something Lita happened to mention during the reception when you went to use the bathroom," he stretched and put his arm around me, pulling me closer. I had my suspicions that he knew I couldn't think straight when we were that close and that was why he did it. He was rather intoxicating. "Don't deny it, your own friend ratted you out."

That's right, my own _friend. _What a friend Lita was. Really, you couldn't _ask _for a better secret keeper.

"Do I have to be honest?" I complained, knowing his eyes would see through any lie I would try to present to him. Darien burst out laughing and I slapped his chest lightly in horror.

"Hush, Darien! You'll wake the terrors up!" He shuddered in an effort to control himself.

"So how long have you found me irresistible," he whispered. I pressed my forehead to his.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"Are you positive?"

"Absolutely!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" I grumbled. Damn you Darien Shields. "I've had a crush on you in one form or another since we met."

As calm and collected as he had been looking one minute, he sure managed to do a swift change into shock and amazement. Then a wicked twinkle began to glint in his eye. His hand moved towards my ribs.

"Ahh!" I shrieked. "Darien don't you dare tickle me! I've barely recovered from giving birth." I pulled away, moving defensively to the other end of the couch ready to kick if it proved necessary. Darien lurked above me. I decided that he sure managed to recover from shocking news quickly. I twisted around and grabbed a pillow, waving it threateningly in front of his face. "I'm not afraid to use this buddy!"

"I yield!" he protested bringing his hands up. "All hail Serena."

I rather liked the way that sounded but before I could enforce more groveling, a yawn set my jaw cracking.

"I think it's time for bed," he laughed aloud, pulling my up from the couch one handed.

"I think you're right."

I waited until I heard the water running in the bathroom that confirmed Darien was brushing his teeth. Tiptoeing quietly into the room since the twins were sleeping a bassinet at the foot of the bed, I slyly opened up Darien's dresser. There, waiting for me, was my favorite pair of his pajamas in a deep blue with a smell that I loved. I couldn't help grinning since I knew what Darien's reaction would be: fury and frustration.

He yawned, coming back into the room and absentmindedly taking his shirt off to change in front of me. Despite my pink cheeks and I how I was determined not to watch him, my eyes would drift back of their own accord. Since I had returned home from the hospital, I hadn't slept anywhere else but in his room and he hadn't mentioned it in spite of the fact that we had made the arrangement so he could help me out of bed when I was pregnant. I hoped it was because he liked having me around. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head.

Soon Darien was in bed next to me. He pulled the covers over his head, though the light was still on, and turned onto his side so that we were regarding each other with a duvet over our heads. "Couldn't handle watching my change?" he asked with a wink.

"Of course not," I said. How come whenever I try to lie it never manages to sound like the truth? It's a question for the ages.

Darien radiated contentment that he was right and I saw his eyelids begin to droop a little from exhaustion. They popped open again. "Those are my pajamas!"

"I know," I replied simply.

"You can't just wear my clothes!" Darien exclaimed.

"Why not?" I asked. "And what are you going to do about it anyway?"

He growled without coming up with a suitable comeback. "Would you turn out the light?" I pleaded.

"You didn't brush your teeth," was his retort. "Your breath is terrible."

I pouted. "I'm too tired. Turn out the light."

"Brush your teeth," and before I could respond he had pushed me out from under the covers and into the cold air. Grumbling I did as he said and brushed my teeth. On my return, I switched off the light and then relished discomforting him by crawling over him to get back to my spot in bed. He swatted my automatically.

"That hurt!" he complained. "You've bony knees."

"You made me brush my teeth!" I said. The argument ended to my satisfaction since I got the last word, and we drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note: **Oh my god! I cannot believe that it took me so long to update, a whole half a year! It's ridiculous. What eventually spurred me on was the knowledge that I might end up with 500 reviews before I updated and I didn't deserve them! (Not that I'm not cutting it close, last time I checked all of you wonderful people had left 498 often pleading messages.) I'm so sorry. I'm also sorry for those that I said I would e:mail when this chapter came out, I've misplaced the list. If you want me to do that for the next chapter, just mention it in your review and leave an e:mail address. School starts September 1st (which is the earliest I've ever started school, usually we NEVER begin before Labor Day) this year so I'm hoping that maybe during school? I'll be able to get more writing done. I'm such a lazy slacker.

This chapter seemed to be work all the way through until I hit the ending but I hope it was worth the wait. And if it wasn't, feel free to YELL AT ME and tell me EXACTLY what you want in the next chapter. I make no guarantees however, I bet I can work some ideas in if you want me to !


	12. Dreaming Interlude

**Author's Note: **It's so embarrassing that I haven't posted in such a long time which is why I am posting this chapter, incomplete as it is. I am one of the least organized people in the world (maybe I put a little too much faith in fate, lol) and what happened to me was this: I had this part written within a week of posting the last chapter back in August (bad Beth, bad Beth! Yes, I deserve flames for such terrible behavior) but it was far from constituting a complete chapter for me because I am a perfectionist etc. I had almost completed the last 75 when my brother and I switched computers (I have a laptop and he has a full-blown PC but because he is doing a semester abroad in Lancaster it made sense to help him save some money on shipping by swapping). He is supposed to e:mail the rest to me but as it is unfinished anyway and he is having trouble with his internet connection, there is no guarantee _when_ it will be done. (Especially when a bum like me is involved). I've felt terrible guilty though and that is why I am posting this interlude. Just to make sure you know I'm still alive and kicking.

Oh yes- and Happy Valentines Day everyone!

**That Simple Magic**

_**Dreaming Interlude**_

Eva's wailing woke me up as his screams were gradually taken up and echoed by his little brother Dorian. Darien (mister helpful) groaned and burrowed his head underneath the pillows. Blinking sleepily, I pushed the covers off of me, turned on the light, and took the couple of steps to the bassinet where my troublemakers slept. Eva's chubby arms and legs beat the air vigorously as an angry extended shriek erupted from his red scrunched up face. Tears streamed down Dorian's face. I really need more hands.

"Whew," I sniffed Eva as I picked him up; someone needed a diaper changed. "No wonder you're screaming. Darien, wake up!"

"Hmph," he snorted, ignoring me as well as valiantly ignoring the caterwauling of his sons. I cradled Eva on my shoulder and padded out to the kitchen. A few ice cubes in a glass, add a little water from the faucet and viola: the recipe for the perfect wake-up remedy! Eva sniffled, cuddling his head into my shoulder as I poured the frigid water onto his daddy.

"Aargh!" Darien gargled, leaping from the bed furiously. His eyes narrowed to slits as he shook as much of the water as possible off of himself and went to cheer up Dorian. I wanted to snigger but restrained myself with some effort. Instead, I returned to living area and proceeded to change Eva's diaper. Luna's dark furred body showed up as I made to throw away the soiled nappies.

"Long time no see," I greeted quietly, kneeling on the floor and relishing the fact that though I still retained some weight, I could get myself out of a chair.

"So this is the kid," Luna said, disregarding my comment. She leaned over and tickled his face with her whiskers. Eva cooed and blew baby kisses at her. Luna drew back as one kiss managed to reach her nose. "Blech." Her expression was both besotted and disgusted.

"Luna meet Evander, Evander this is your auntie Luna," I introduced. Eva didn't react except to yawn sleepily. I gathered him up gently. "Now Luna," I said, "where have you been all this time?" I recalled that she had been missing since before I had moved in with Darien.

"No where in particular," the cat answered innocently. She proceeded to clean her face. "Artemis and I just had business to attend to."

"Right, business," I agreed complacently although I didn't believe her one single iota. Luna whipped her tail at me. "I have to go back to bed, Darien's probably wondering what has happened to me and Junior."

"You're sleeping in the same _room _as that man?" she exclaimed in shock. I shrugged, not answering.

"We'll talk more in the morning," I said. "Oh, and by the way, don't speak to Darien just yet. He doesn't know you can talk."

"Fine," she answered with a dignified sniff.

Darien rolled over onto my side of the bed as I entered the bedroom. "That's my spot," I complained as I climbed into bed after putting Eva back in his crib. Darien seemed to have done a good job settling Dorian back down since his namesake was sleeping peacefully. "**_Hey_**! This is wet!"

His mischievous blue eyes regarded me from my pillow and he smirked. "Haha."

-

The dream started just as it had before. _"Hello darling," I cooed to the chubby little bundle in my arms, "yes, aren't you precious? Mama woves you, yes she does!" My adorable, rosy cheeked little boy gurgled and blew bubbles at me. He had sleepy blue eyes underneath a tuft of ebony hair. Yes, what a handsome boy! _

"_Serena, have you seen my silk tie anywhere? The blue one?" Darien asked, buttoning up his shirt as he walked barefooted into the kitchen. He stooped to place a kiss on my cheek and I smiled in spite of myself. _

"_Did you check the hanger?" I asked with as innocent a face as possible. _

"_Of course I did," Darien grumbled, running a hand through his hair so that it was rumpled just like his son's. His appearance was gorgeous as usual, dressed in a crisp white shirt and black pants that I knew personally were tailored to his shape perfectly. "What do you think I am, an idiot?" _

"_Mama," Evander whined, running circles around the kitchen. Dorian was sitting at the counter watching his dad become more and more frustrated as he searched for the missing tie. "Dimitri is in my head again; tell him to get out!" _

"_Now Eva," I soothed, sitting Dimitri down in his high chair. "You know Dimitri can't control his telepathy yet."_

"_Why not, Mama?" Eva asked. He and Dorian were in their 'why' stage and they had to know the reasoning behind everything. _

"_You're tie is in between the washer and dryer, Daddy," Dorian announced. "Mama forgot to wash it so she hid it. Dimitri watched her."_

_Darien focused a glare on yours truly. I pouted at the way Dorian had exposed me. "Oops?" Abruptly, Darien strode across the kitchen and swung me around by the waist. _

"_You devil, you know I can't resist you when you pout," he complained before kissing me thoroughly. That had been the general idea behind the pout but I couldn't manage to remember it when he was giving me such delightful tingles._

"_Gross," Evander said, tugging on Darien's pants. He pulled away regretfully. "Daddy, will you bring me home ice cream? Please?"_

"_No he will not, Eva," I said. I narrowed my eyes at Darien, knowing how he spoiled our children. "Don't you dare Darien."_

"_I wouldn't even dream of disobeying you," he promised, stroking Eva's curls. I regarded him suspiciously before the doorbell rang. For some reason, I didn't doubt that there would be ice cream in our freezer this evening. _

"_Auntie Rei is here!" Dorian shrieked, abandoning his perch on the chair and running to answer the door. Rei was one of his favorite people since she spoiled him so much. Darien left the kitchen to find a clean pair of socks. Dorian returned to the kitchen looking a little sulky, probably because of the toddler on Rei's hip. Gwendolyn was only a year and a half with her mother's lilac eyes and her father's golden hair._

"_Good morning Rei, Gwennie," I said, giving my friend a hug. We were going to go to the park and then out for lunch as soon as I managed to finish up breakfast with my boys._

"_Thewie!" Gwennie giggled. Her kiss and fingers were still sticky from the jam on her toast which she had had for breakfast. Dorian's frown intensified and he convinced Eva to come watch television with him. The little scamp adored Dimitri and had no problem sharing the attention with him or Jack, Rei's oldest son. Maybe he believed girls had cooties already?_

_Darien returned to the kitchen with a different tie around his collar and his briefcase in one hand. Absentmindedly, he grabbed a handful of Dimitri's mushy cereal. "Hello Rei. Goodbye!" he put the handful of cereal in his mouth and made a face. "Yuck."_

"_You realize," Rei said after the door had closed behind Darien, "that you just let him go to the office with lipstick on his collar."_

"_He deserved it," I answered unrepentantly. _

-

Sunlight slipped through the curtain and woke me up early the next morning. I moaned and rolled further into the middle of the bed. I kept rolling, expecting to hit someone, until BAM, I landed with a thump on the floor.

"Ow," I complained, rubbing my head and blinking in the bright sunlight. Only Dorian was still in the crib, snoozing away the day. Damn it! I thought.

Out in the kitchen, Darien was grilling bacon and flipping pancakes that smelled absolutely delicious. Eva was in his carrier, watching with awe-struck eyes. My eyes were a little awe-struck too and in spite of myself, my mouth went dry at the sight of his bare back. Then I shook myself out of it.

"I had a _weird _dream last night," I announced as I stole the plate with the stack of finished pancakes. I helped myself to ten before putting the empty plate back next to Darien. He frowned at me.

"I did hear a thump," he laughed at me.

"That was _your _fault," I sniffed. "If you had still been in bed, than I wouldn't have fallen out. Now that I think about it, I bet the dream was your fault too."

"Naturally," Darien retorted with characteristic egotism. "I know what my proximity does to your brain."

"Whatever," I grumbled, being unable to find a good comeback.

"Case in point," he cried, waving the tongs he used for the bacon.

"Back to me," I said, searching the fridge. "Where is the syrup?"

"On the table, Meatball Brains."

"Anyway, my dream. You wouldn't believe what happened."

"Oh?" Darien added the entire batch of finished bacon to his plate along with the rest of the pancakes. I blushed a little, not sure that I really wanted to finish this conversation. Good one, I thought sourly to myself. Way to bring up a dream in which you acted like a real married couple. To bide time, I stole a strip of bacon from Darien's breakfast. He whacked my wrist with his fork but I ate it anyway. Luna twined around my ankles: the greatest distraction tool.

"Luna!" I exclaimed in surprise as if I hadn't already seen her in the middle of the night. Darien's eyebrows twitched. "Darien, you remember Luna, don't you?" I held her up.

"I remember her on my head once or twice," he grumbled, taking a bite from his pancakes.

"Oh, well," I coughed. "There's also something else you should know about Luna."

"She's not trained?"

"Not very well," I giggled. Luna hissed. "But that's not it. What do you think of talking animals?" Darien didn't answer but his eyes didn't leave my face.

"Are you implying that your kitty can talk?"

"Yes," Luna burst out. "Wow, how stupid are you?"

"Luna!" I yelled as Darien's eyes bugged out. Dorian began to cry in the other room and I dropped Luna onto the floor to go get him. I came back to the kitchen soothing Dorian.

"You have _two_ kids?" Luna gasped in shock. "You didn't mention that last night!"

"There were other things on my mind," I declared self-righteously.

Darien, meanwhile, was completely nonplussed at the table. He continued to stare at Luna in disbelief.

"I'm guessing that you aren't going to eat that," I reflected aloud and helped myself to some of Darien's breakfast.

-


End file.
